Spreading my new wings

Spreading my wings

2009-05-07T12:26:00.003-04:00

I remember clearly two years ago sitting on the deck of my new apartment, laptop cords stretched to inside outlets, staring at the 'submit' button on Antioch University New England's Online Application for graduate school. I was on the deck because we hadn't even setup the internet yet, and I was feeding off a weak wireless signal in order to be online.

I remember having a moment of panic. It was the last day that the application would go in, I had not yet gotten reccomendations from people, and I thought my application would be immediately rejected. I considered stopping and not submitting the application at all. I remembered the previous year's hopes of applying that never materialized. I began to resign myself to the idea of one more year of office-bound misery.

I came inside, dejected, and explained my situation to Mike. And, for the first time since we had been together, Mike yelled at me. "Go back out there and DO IT." he said.

He kicked my butt, and I went back out onto the porch, finished up the application and hit 'submit.' That nudge, that firm affirmation telling me to just shut up and do it - allowed me to move past my self-sabotage about my future. I applied, got accepted, attended and arguably, changed my life in a way that no single action had changed before.

Walking across the stage and graduating was just as exciting to me as being accepted. I beamed with an unshakable smile at my accomplishments, my challenges, my knowledge. I came out the other side a more whole person, and I'm now pursuing new directions that I never expected were possible.

I can say now, that I feel more like a butterfly than I ever have. In the next few months I'll be stretching my wings to get the blood flowing, and will soon fly on.

Thank you to everyone who made this possible

for me. Thank you for putting up with my sometimes frazzled emotions, for being there for me to unwind, for helping me not to starv or become homeless, for debating with me and listening to my rants and raves, for patiently supporting each of my new ideas that I had for my future.

I've made a lot of sacrifices and recieved many helping hands over the past two years, but the support you have all given me has been an amazing gift in and of itself.

I couldn't have done it without you.

With love and gratitude,

Carla

Whale Jewelry

2009-04-15T09:42:00.003-04:00

So just in case you were wondering what to wear to a whale of an opening exhibit.... check this out. Etsy.com is a website that features artists that create original, hand made items for sale. So, while you're supporting local events (like the Seacoast Science Center) you could also be sporting a small time artist's beautiful work. Here are some of the humpback themed jewelry that I found on the website.

I expect you all to be there with whales on!

The urge for going

2008-12-03T18:34:00.003-05:00

I awoke today and found the frost perched on the town
It hovered in a frozen sky, then it gobbled summer down
When the sun turns traitor cold
and all the trees are shivering in a naked row
I get the urge for going but I never seem to go

Now the warriors of winter they gave a cold triumphant shout
And all that stays is dying, all that lives is getting out
See the geese in chevron flight flapping and a-racing on before the snow
They've got the urge for going, and they've got the wings so they can go

I'll ply the fire with kindling now, I'll pull the blankets up to my chin
I'll lock the vagrant winter out and bolt my wandering in
I'd like to call back summertime and have her stay for just another month or so
But she's got the urge for going and I guess she'll have to go

She gets the urge for going when the meadow grass is turning brown
And all her empire's falling down

Saving the world, one mile at a time.

2008-10-22T17:12:00.002-04:00

I just discovered a website that helps you track miles that you've saved by not driving your car. I was thinking about starting something similar in the apartment so that I could log isulally every time I biked or took the bus somewhere I needed to go.

The site is called world commute, and it is a place that you can go to log your miles. It calculates how much fuel you've saved, tons of carbon, etc., and is a really neat thing to see. You can view charts of your commuting habits ,and what I enjoy is seeing how much total eveyrone on the site has logged and saved. There are a lot of environmental people out there.

I have been riding my bike a lot lately so I'll be logging my miles on this site soon. When the snow flies, I'm going to switch to bus (hopefully) to try and save as much gas/carbon as I can.

Check it out!

moonlight & dawn

2008-10-06T17:41:00.003-04:00

If I close my eyes I can hear geese and ducks making small talk on the water. If i don't have to close the window for the sake of cold, I think I could listen all night to their chatter. What are they talking about? Joy in the full moon? Preparations for the great flight? Delighting in the last warm night for a while, perhaps? I can't see them because my light dims my eyes sensitivity to moonlight, and their silhouettes get lost to the ripples of the lake.

I turned off the light in hopes of being able to write in moonlight alone, but alas it won't work. The lines on the page are rendered invisible by its blue glow. It is a perfect evening for listening and the sounds fill the cabin. A squirrel clumsily thrashing through the bushes. A steady hum of crickets. The gentle lap of water slapping rock. Over the lake, laughter is carried from a distant party to my ears.

I revel in nights like this and wish my own house was as open to nature as this cabin is. The room I sleep in the cabin is really the living room with several extra beds in it. The beauty of that is the side walls of the room are nearly all windows. I purposely take the bed aligned with the sunrise so it wakes me up with it every time I stay there.

Warm sun on my cheeks is one of the most pleasant wake up calls I've ever received.

Pulled over, Route 9, 8am, foggy

2008-10-05T17:31:00.000-04:00

Fog is something I've recently been fascinated with. As I write this I'm sitting inside a morning cloud, in my car, awed by beauty and the unknown. As I bring myself to wake up as I drive, I suddenly find myself floating through a sea of color-eating mist - changing the greens oranges and yellows of the trees into muted, pale imitations, save for the brief instant that I get to glimpse them when I get close enough. That tiny bit allowed to be revealed at any given moment has its own mystery and almost sensual quality - like the flash of a naked ankle of a fully covered woman in a burka.

Fog can feel like you're going to fall off the planet, somehow falling forever in a void of white mist. I saw a road sign that said 'Right Lane Ends' and immediately imagined a car driving over a cliff into the unknown, and somehow flying on like a balloon let go from a child's hand.

The mist and fog clouds a familiar landscape in mystery, begs me to ask what's around the next bend, the next hill or valley. I have to say I love what weather can do to a familiar landscape - part of the inexhaustible beauty and uniqueness of nature. This spot, this moment, will not hold the same secrets tomorrow, nor will it be any less beautiful.

I like how fog can change your perspective, how it can change what's hidden and what's seen, like a skilled photographer's composition. I've seen fog turn mountains into islands, trees into ghosts and curves of a road into a magical path.

I've seen fog spilling out of a graveyard on Halloween so creepily I avoided driving over the mist in fear of disturbing the dead souls within it. Fog often makes me think of death - not in a way which evokes fear but maybe one of peace. I imagine death could be like approaching a foggy curve in the road, its edges just blurred to oblivion, and the trip around the bend is known to no one but somehow is attractively serene. I can only hope that when I die I am greeted with such a beautiful sight.

remembering not to worry

2008-10-03T17:26:00.002-04:00

The rain today seems to complement my energy level, not very violently strong but deliberate and tired. I had a lot to accomplish today and didn't quite fit in all of it. Sometimes that's how the day goes, though. Accepting that my to-do lists are always impossibly long is helpful when I really begin to worry about getting everything done.

I recently figured out that I have a procrastination problem that involves feeling overwhelmed. If I feel overwhelmed then I also feel paralyzed and can't start anything because of the associated worries about getting everything else on the list done. That, in turn, allows my to-do list only to grow scarier and scarier. So I've been trying not to acknowledge the overwhelmed feeling and just press forward towards accomplishing things. I vow to keep working on something all day, to keep moving, writing, cleaning, reading, whatever it is until it comes to the point that I can cross something off the 'big list'.

I have a lot rolling around in my head, so physically writing down and crossing items off lists certainly helps to quiet the voice that's asking me what I've already forgotten to do. My memory is a direct cause for anxiety and I compensate by using devices to assist my memory. I did notice this week while driving that I was recalling memories easily when I was relaxed- and they were memories I hadn't touched on in quite a while. I do believe in attention restoration theory and maybe that's all I really need - a little more calm and free thinking. I think I'm enjoying journaling, too, for that reason because it gives me a moment to focus and recall the thoughts on events of the day.

Good Day sunlight

2008-10-02T13:55:00.004-04:00

Good-day sunlight

Id like to say how truly bright you are

You dont know me but I know you

Youre my favorite star

Follow you I will so lets get moving

Who needs shelter when the mornings coming?

Absolutely theres no one

Who needs shelter from the sun?

Not me, no. not anyone.

By your clock the cock rooster crows

Then off to work where everybody goes

Slow, but eventually they get there

Picking up the day shift back where all left off

Confined and pecking at relationships

You know its only a worthless piece of shit

Who needs shelter when the mornings coming?

Absolutely theres no one

Who needs shelter from the sun?

Not me, no. not anyone.

Id sleep it all away but the sun wont let me

Id miss those lovely days of summer

Good-day sunlight

Id like to say how truly bright you are

You dont know me but I know you

Youre my favorite.

morning, time

2008-10-01T17:16:00.002-04:00

I'm so glad I can see in color. I'm sure I wouldn't understand what I'm missing if I couldn't, but there must be something neurologically stimulating and attractive about bright colors. Driving from Dover to Grafton, VT takes three hours on paper. Six hours of my day stuck driving a car. Except that its autumn, and Vermont, and absolutely stunning.

As many people in New England do, I am transfixed by leaves in chromatic spectrums on branches which hang over the road like the most elegant wedding decorations. The little yellow ones that fall like tinker tape confetti as I swoop around rural roads on the drive just instantly make me smile. The bright red ones that glow even brighter when coated in rain and illuminated by morning sun.

Mornings are special to me lately because I've never really experienced the process of morning like I do now, I never work up early enough to know or what to get privileged access to morning views. If I could get my body to cooperate, I'd like to wake up and see the dawn each morning as I wake up. Maybe take an early walk, ride or drive to photograph those things that most people don't really get to see.

Whole songs have been written about the process of dawn, the one I remember most is Jon i Mitchell's Morning Morgantown "When morning comes to Morgantown, the merchants roll their awnings down, the milk trucks make their morning rounds in morning Morgan town. We'll rise up early with the sun and ride the bus while everyone is yawning and the day is young in morning Morgantown"

Unfortunately, my brain doesn't cooperate with the early rising unless it has to, but Antioch has provided that official reason for me to drive in at dawn. Seeing the same road at the same time each morning makes me acutely connected to and aware of the seasonal change. I cherish it.

Daylight savings time really messes me up though because the transition is so abrupt and un-natural. The gradual tilt change, the angle of the light works in harmony with our brain's rhythms. To so horribly shock it seems just cruel to our psyche I wonder if people get grumpier at those transitions. I do! For now though, nature and the beauty of the colors is enough to keep me serene and peaceful these days.

the right to sell my self

2008-09-29T17:07:00.000-04:00

I put in a solid six hours of nonstop work on my practicum project today. I created real deadlines by lining up meetings with my practicum supervisior instead of waiting until I finished the project to talk. Sometimes I just think I really need that. Its pressure but its a real deadline. I do worry that its taking time from my other classes, but I'm on '2nd extension' so it should be a priority. I have until Thanksgiving technically, but I want it done by mid October at the latest. My classes will only be getting busier and more important each week, and I don't want to urn in mediocre work just because I'm overwhelmed.

I have to say, I'm really proud of the quality of work I've put into this project. Even if only one person ever sees it, I know I've put my all into it. Tomorrow I will spend half my day in a car chasing a fall internship. I have a quiet confidence that I will be a perfect fit for what they need. Its a small nature center, a small hodgepodge of exhibits with a long history and tight budget. But that's real life. You don't always get to play with the billion dollar exhibits.

I have a natural ability to foresee problems, critique, connect and analyze media. I don't know where I got it but I am very good at knowing what to look for, what to tweak, what might be a problem, what won't/will work. Its hard to articulate though. Until you put me in exhibit design over the summer and I start bring up questions and design considerations that didn't even cross the instructor's mind...

I am still uncomfortable talking about those skills I have, too, because to say I'm natural at that and I have a thorough viewpoint is to me, arrogant. But when I graduate, won't I be selling my skills to employers? Does holding a master's degree give me some kind of bragging rights of does my ability speak for itself?

Having to work to show what I've done is important, too. Showing by really doing in the world. Not as an assignment but in something the public sees, does, learns. I always wanted to be a textbook writer for the same reasons I'm now interested in exhibit design. I truly believe that I can do it better than it exists right now. Am I brilliant? No. Do I know everything about everything? No, of course not. But I'm beginning to realize that i have my own specific point of view and skills, and it feels pretty damn good sometimes.

cobblestone memories

2008-09-24T12:59:00.002-04:00

Decided to try a new venue today for work that's a little closer to home and hopefully not nearly as cold as the UNH Library. I saddled up on my bike and headed out of my apartment in a different direction entirely, towards Dover itself. Despite some crossings that demand some extra vigilance, the trip in is short and delightful. About two miles into town, under huge beech trees beginning to turn, the asphalt sidewalk changes into antique brickwork. NOt the type of modern bricks with every gap filled smooth and sharply geometric, no, these were rounded red semi-rectangular cobbles with gaps in between each that bounced my bike tires enough to make me giggle. The pattern of the wiggling, too, changed with the brick's orientation. I wonder how old they are. The houses in the neighborhood are up to 200 years old and by the degree of wear on the bricks I wouldn't be surprised if they had seen a lot more years in Dover than I have.

As I start wondering about what Dover used to look like, I turn the corner towards the library where the sidewalk remains bricks but resembles a waterslide where it has twisted and been lifted or sunk from roots, erosion and frost heaving. This creates a delightful undulation under my wheels that I might never have noticed if not on a bike. I'm really beginning to love using my bike , though arguably I picked the wrong season to start to like it.

Another class has an assignment that requires adopting a behavior that I don't do regularly to try and make it permanent. I was originally planning to eliminate plastic bags completely, but I really think that may be too easy. Maybe I should challenge myself to using my bike, walking or taking the bus if the trip is 5ish miles or less. This seems really easy but i think if I were to draw out a 5 mile radius line around my apartment, it would include more than I think it does.

Big bad hill

2008-09-22T12:49:00.003-04:00

I feel so much more alive and normal today. I took my bike out this morning and pedaled to the UNH library to get some work done. It was a bit cooler than I expected and my hands turned pink for want of gloves. As I biked I noticed that all the side of the road weeds were swelling with seeds and berries. I must have fun over hundreds at a time on the sidewalk. The wind blew gently but just enough to rattle the drying gasses and accentuate the rustling of a few animals I surprised along the way.

The ride to UNH passes a great swooping field, abandoned greenhouses, railroad tracks, a power cut, and a field of now dead sunflowers. The way to UNH is also marked by a steep downhill slope which makes me almost fear breaking the speed limit on my bike if I don't touch the brakes. Needless to say I don't usually go back on the bike but allow the bus to do the work of that uphill for me.

Today, after 6 hours of really doing good work, I packed up to try and catch the 6:10 bus home. As I left the library the bells ran for 6:00 and the sun's golden glow spread out on the campus lawn. I unchained my bike and suddenly got the urge to just keep riding right past the bus stop. I didn't feel like keeping still. So I pedaled my original route in reverse towards home, wondering if the killer hill would clam me as a gasping, sweaty victim.

I was surprised that I managed to get halfway up the hill with no problems at all. Then, the fatigue and less-than-substantial food court food gave up on me. My legs started to burn, my breath became warmer on my chin. But I just kept pedaling and pedaling and pedaling. My front tire wobbled like a six year old's with the training wheels freshly off, but I just kept pedaling. All of a sudden, the pedaling got easier. The hill had flattened out to a piece-of-cake incline and I breathed several rapid sighs of relief. That wasn't nearly as bad as it could be or as I thought. It as suddenly just any old hill, just a part of my trip home from UNH. I never once stopped the while way home, and I smiled proudly as the bus passed me only a half mile away from my stop. Not bad for someone formerly afraid of the big bad hill.

Every state line...

2008-09-20T12:40:00.002-04:00

Took the scenic route home tonight on purpose. Had a lot of my mind that was best ruminated in the mountains with Nick Drake in the stereo. Funny how the same road can look so different in the opposite direction. The rolling purple hills accented by the setting sun's orange glow, a silhouette of wind turbines, a corn maze and an obelisk all greeted me as I headed back east through VT. Chill enough, too, for woodstoves to add that delicious wood smoke scent to my journey. I cracked my windows for most of the trip back in an attempt to absorb the experience.

Drives like this make me yearn for a simpler life, with the dawn waking me and the moonrise completing my day. To be connected to a place like this - to the workings of the seasons and the timings of life's little sequences - sounds so right. This was in stark contrast to earlier in the day when I sat in a greek restaurant located on a busy highway, which instead of windows, they had an artist paint tromp l'oeil versions of Mediterranean vistas. Why should a state line, an arbitrary and unnatural boundary, have such an obvious effect on culture?

When I left my home state of NY though Troy and crossed into Vermont, I knew I was in the state before I even saw the first VT sign. The culture is different. Peoples children were outside in Vermont. Fields were bountiful with crops, farms were old yet cared for. There's something in the air, even. When I crossed into NY on Friday I started sneezing any nose ran for no reason. But don't VT and NY share the same air? The same soil? why has this difference evolved?

A friend suggested that the pollution might be causing my sniffles in Albany as she handed me a glass of filtered water. Where do you start when all of the population's knowledge about the environment starts with "Don't drink the water, the PCBs are all over the Hudson." Yes, it has basis in fact, but seems to state such despair, or worse, fear. The best solutions aren't universal and approaching one culture, whether it be a country, religion, political affiliation or state line can be a challenge.

I often get overwhelmed and want to fix everything. My only hope is that I can find something that will make difference to people. Moving to Vermont to live a simpler life is tempting, but is there more work to be done on the other side of "the line"?

Sunshine & pumpkins

2008-09-19T21:24:00.000-04:00

Why can't humans look directly into the sun? I guess I mean why can't my delicate retinas tolerate the most sunning mountain sunset in Vermont as I attempt to drive west to Albany? Maybe its so I could be forced to stop at a farm stand to stroll around the signs of autumn and really notice the depths of orange sunlight on an orange pumpkin skin. Or to see shafts of dusty air illuminated through rows of hanging flowers. Or to force me to stop and appreciate the taste of the air today, the calling of my sweater in my backseat.

I find myself fascinated with sunsets and rises because of the fleeting alternative views on the world. Suddenly, and only for a moment the shadows and glow draw your attention to the most mundane and ignorable things, the rays transforming them into radiant beautiful objects. The dirty windshield of an old truck. A dead sunflower. A piece of wood, a row of grass.

I feel like its a secret because only I am standing in front of these objects at the right minute as they are elevated to beauty and elegance. I frequently photograph scenes like this because I may never see the same combination of angle and timing of the earth's tilt as I am sure that if I returned tomorrow it wouldn't be the same.

So stopping in exasperation as the setting sun overwhelmed my rods and cones afforded me a unique opportunity to see something no one will ever see again in quite the same way. I'm glad.

Environmental Writing Freewrite

2008-09-18T21:12:00.000-04:00

Morning mist rises off the water's surface and swirls around the whiteness and greyness of the standing wood. The water, giving rise to this spooky show seems solid and still. There is no line between this smoke and sky, a hazy outline of wings only briefly stays to remind us of the world above. I crouch, motionless gazing at the tiny picket row of green between my mind and the cauldron's edge. The stalks stand askew as if mimicking the rows of trees without branches, and the color of the reeds feels more comfortable to me than the vast grey.

Interrupting these teetering rows is a touch not of green, not of grey, but a translucent light brown. I nudge my toes to the squishy edge to identify this strange figure among the blades, and too soon I realize it isn't moving, but was surely once alive. Tiny armadillo like plates and gussets find their way to create what seems to be an alien armor - but hollow within.

The emptiness, perhaps, reminds us of something that has escaped to a new world, a new form. Crawled out of the too-still mirror water, this creature pushed and escaped its shell with new wings to explore the unknown world of sky and grey. Like clothes discarded in haste or eagerness, this small brown skin calls back to a life under the surface, a life unknown to us no matter how hard we try to seek it.

Down in... sandals?

2008-06-25T15:24:00.000-04:00

I woke up a little nervous but okay, asked a groggy Annie if I could borrow her sandals to wear up to do our presentation (in order to try them out to see if they're mountain decent worthy). I open up the Gray Knob log and write an entry describing my time at the cabin and my experiences of climbing my first few mountains.

Before we leave to check out the plots, Laura offered me duct tape for my boots. I take them outside, sit on a rock, and attempt to repair, help or otherwise un-wreck my boots. Complete failure.

The duct tape won't stick to any surface of my gritty, wet boots. So, sandals, it seems are my only options. Thankfully I put on the one thick pair of hiking socks I had left and went up to do our plot. I wrapped my ankles and the bridges/arches of my feet in tight tape, put the socks on, and strapped on the sandals. I packed up my pack, which felt just as heavy as the ascent, and took Laura's poles to clime down with. The dead boots were strapped to the outside of the pack because they were wet and smelly, and so that I could switch to them if I absolutely had to.

I got strange looks form the class when I showed up in sandals, which quickly turned to silence when I showed them y dead boots and they reailzed I didn't have a choice. For the first part of the descent it was easy and I was in good spirits, singing optimistically. Ray said he liked the singingin because it got Paul Simon's "Slip Sliding Away" out of his head.

As it got steeper I began to really rely on the poles to be my additional balance, a great way not to kill myself by falling forward. My feet and knees hurt pretty badly and I was very slow which I am sure annoyed some people but it really was my maximum sandal speed. The trail was wet from rains, the rocks were steep and it took a bit of thinking each time I wanted to place my foot somewhere. It was at this point, too that I realized that my body doesn't trust my left ankle/foot at all and that the right one had to go first to stabilize anything. This meant that I was lopsided walking most of the time, but I had to do whatever I could to make it down.

Three hours later I got to the rock that we had stopped at on the way up, the point at which I wondered if I'd made it up at all. I passed the milestone with enthusiasm and a short while later the ground leveled out. We cut across a power cut and were were back at Lowe's store where we had started. I got high fives all around when we met back up at the end.

I'm not sure how long it will take my body to recover from this trip, but I do feel very encouraged about my physical abilities. I've lost even more weight since then, and I think that I'm in better shape than I have been in the past 10 years. I'm encouraged, exhausted, relieved, that I survived it, and with such a fun story to tell. I don't know if I'll do such a major backpacking type trip again very soon, but I'm no longer as afraid of it as I used to be.

:)

Jefferson

2008-06-24T15:08:00.003-04:00

Woke up this morning stiff and tired. Groggy tired. Coming down the stairs I knew my ankles were angry at me. I tried not to worry about it as we atalked about the details of today's hike. I popped some ibuprophen. After trying in vain to locate clean, dry socks (I am packing WAY more than I need next time, of course, I hope not to have a boot with a gaping crack in it next time either) I decided on the old plastic-bag-in-the-boot trick in a last-ditch attempt at waterproofing.

Ray decided to hang back for this one and I considered it too, but I idint' feel all that horrible, and I could at least take solace in the fact that this hike would be easier than yesterday's. We set out under "socked in" foggy skies, but it wasn't very cold, so we were in decent spirits. The trails were mostly less steep which my sore joints really appreciated.

The path was kept quite misty ahead of us and kept me from looking up and feeling overwhelmed. We found a lot more species to be in bloom, yellow mountain avens, 3-toothed cinqfoil, alpine azalea and mountain heath.

We stopped by a bog community wiht hopes of seeing a field of wildflowers, unfortunatly the snow had only recently receeded and the plants weren't quite in bloom. At this point, my boots, I'm sure, were wet, but my plastic baggie in the boot trick was helping.

We ascended from the spot up a quick, steep climb to see an unusual sight... SNOW!

The last bit of a snow bank remained and was melting. Around it were a bunch of flowers. Folds from the class slid down the snow patch in turns, I refrained because of my boot holes.

From there we decided to summit Jefferson - a "short climb" from where we were. About halfway through the climb it got steep and difficult, my heart began to beat hard and I was out of breath like on the first day's hike in. I went up slowly barely able to see the rest of the class in the mist but they kept encouraging me.

From the last tall cairn, it was only a quick scrabble to the top - and I got to the summit. As out of breath as I was, I kept thinking, DAMN, I CLIMBED TWO MOUNTAINS?!

The view, unfortuantly, never opened up for us. The way back was the way we came up but thankfully down this time.

My ankles started to twist and get unstable during the decent. Briefly the coulds opened and we could see the Great Gulf and castelated ridge.

Most of the trip back was uneventful until we heard thunder and had to hurry for cover. The wet rocks combined with fatigued ankles and rushing wasn't too safe and I tweaked both my knees and ankles even further than they already wor on my dead shoes. Fortunatly, I didn't take abig fall, and we soon made it back to camp without being electrocuted.

I took a nap then attempted to go out and do my plot readings. Just as I got there it started raining - hard. After that the thunder came, and I had to hunker down for a while until it passed. When I saw the rest of the group coming down the trail I joined them, sloshing back under thinkdering skies. I was also lucky here that the only thing I got from that trip home was ver wet.

The probelm at camp is now that 75% of what I brought is now wet. I'm writing this in the moxie shirt and black leggings. My other pants were completely soaked.

I'm optimistic that I'll at least have something to wear tomorrow, if not the best option possible. I am MUCH more concerned about my boots though, they're... dead. But then, what will I wear down the mountain tomorrow???!?!?!

Alright I'm off to bed, I need the warmth of my sleeping bag to dry me off a bit.

Adams

2008-06-23T19:13:00.009-04:00

This morning we awoke at 6am to attempt to foil the weather for our long hike to Adams and the Madison Hut. What I had not realized previously is that Adams is actually among several peaks, the lowest is Adams 4, then Mt. Adams, John Quincy Adams, Samuel Adams, etc. We started our ascent up the normal paths towards our plots, took quick readings and kept going.

I was wearing my long black pants with a zippered poly pro shirt. In my pack I through my raincoat, rain pants and other necessary academic gear.

Up the path didn't go too horribly. I felt ok and was at least comfortable with the steepness. I brought hiking poles that I borrowed form Laura, but I found myself carrying them in hand and not using them for the ascent. I was occasionally breathless as we went up above the plots, but not as embarrassingly so. As we followed the cairns up the trail, all the trees dissappeared. Above me I saw nothing but lichen covered rocks and sky. I peered up at Adams 4, only barely higher than Gray Knob, and gulped.

The ascent, though "challenging" was manageable but as we ascended the views opened up, ad we were able to see additional peaks by the time we got to the summit of Adams 4. From there, we could see the real Adams, Jefferson and Madison. From Adams 4 we went down to Thunderstorm Junction and a tiny bit of rain came in for a few moments.

The downhill was steep only briefly, but then leveled out to a wind-blown grass. I was relieved and energized to put my feet on soil and soft ground if even for a moment. The trail snaked sideways then aimed directly up at Adams itself. The ascent to Adams was over huge rocks, and I was slow, but after stowing the poles I felt more at home on the rocks. The view up was again, nothing but rocks, the view behind was even more beautiful. White mists hid the valley completely, which made the peaks look as if they were islands floating in a white soft sea.

We got to the top of Mt. Adams and paused to take a photo. I felt proud and excited to have had the opportunity to do this (flora aside) to prove to myself that I'm capable of doing things that others can physically. I DID IT. I CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN PEAK!!!

From there we descended a steep, sharp downhill and I could feel my hiking boots disintegrating as a whole and splits developed, I prayed that they'd last the trip.

Our steep ascent slowed to a gentle descent as we swung around the side of the mountain, then uphill towards star lake, which from the back of Adams, looked like a small muddy puddle.

As we got closer it got bigger and we began to see bog plants in bloom, so lovely! We could see the Madison hut and star lake opening up. We got to the lake and it was a bog surrounded by grasses whipping in the wind that was coming through the valley. Rain threatened but held off until we were inside the AMC hut Maidson, then downpoured once we were inside (luckily).

We rested and thankfully ate, and weighed the options ahead. Ascend Madison? Return to camp?

The weather's instability lead us to choose to return. We looked over a crazy ravine (The Great Gulf) on the way back, the views were awesome. We watched the clouds just pouring over the mountain tops. I can't even describe how small I felt.

We opted to skirt Adams 4 on our return, so no more uphill for the rest of the way (YAY). The spur trail was fairly hard, and I hurt my knee by twisting or hyper extending it on a rock. I'm not incapable of bending my right knee fully, the pain from behind my knee makes me spring back up in pain whenever I go to kneel or crouch.

We came back via Crag camp, bigger but more filled with people. We stood on the deck and watched butterflies ride the thermals coming off of the slopes. Eventually we headed back to Gray Knob.

I'm going to take some advil in hopes that my knee gets better by tomorrow, where we will be doing a longer, yet not as steep climb...

Misty mountain tops

2008-06-22T14:29:00.003-04:00

I'm afraid of everything still. Last night I slept okay, but worried about hiking today. Worried about my stomach letting me down on the middle of a hike. Worried about what happens if I get sick or hurt on the trail. But I'm tring not to let it mess me up. I'm worried my rain gear is crap. We are doing plot work today, which is a huge help. I can turn around to camp if I need to. That makes me feel a lot better.

It's raining now and I'm going to try out my rain gear. I know the jacket's good. I am nust not psyched about getting wet feet.

Today we made the decision (based on the forecast) to do plot work only. We got to our site to find it was still there, with nice gusty winds, but it wasn't cold, just breezy. You could see the white clouds accumulating in the valley, a sight I always love to see, it reminds me of japanese paintings.

Our goal today was to map our plots and determine % cover. We went to work very dilligently and I quickly made a really strong and detailed map. Just as we were finishing our last quadrant, we saw our teacher jump over the rock. A few raindrops hit my hood and she said we should probably take a break because the storm coming in looked like a good one. We packed up quickly and snuck down to the trail, ducking into the cabin as the rain started to increase in intensity.

We ate lunch and then the thunder started. While most groups had nothing to work on, I re-wrote some notes more clearly on graph paper and began to replot my map, look up scientific names, etc.

As the storm waned, I got more tired. The storm broke and the groups hurried back to their plots to do work. I decided to retire to an hour long nap, which the returning rain helped with. I slept soundly and awoke feeling ready. Annie and I headed out to our plots in cool breezy conditions, took our measurements and returned home just as the rain started back up. My rain jacket got pretty damp - I apparently needed to waterproof it or something - so its now hanging and dripping to dry. When we came back we worked on our data for some more, then Annie and I made dinner (pasta with peppers and onions) which wasn't impressive but went over well. After dinner I really stopped doing work because I was tired but I did draw two landscapes with colored pencil, a media I'm only slightly familiar with (and not trained in at all). We listened as Laura read passages from letters written by a female hiker from the 1800s. How interesting and dignified/poetic her entries were.

I wanted to see the sunset but it wasn't visible through the rain clouds, so I turned back. I at least stayed dry this time.

Tomorrow's plan is to rise early and hike the peaks. We're going to try to get to the summit of Mt. Adams and perhaps Madison. We'll be out most of the morning, but extremely thankfully we'll only have day packs on. Phew. I am still a bit concerned about being so far away from a bathroom, but I haven't had any issues as of yet. Today was good and I felt comfortable, my muscles ached only mildly which let me feel more optimistic about moving around. A rainy day for rest was welcome.

Hike to Gray Knob

2008-06-21T22:00:00.005-04:00

We met in the parking lot, I saw Laura our professor when I rolled in, in shorts. I immediately looked down at my legs. Pants - under armor long underware. I looked at laura and saw she was wearing a tank top. I looked down at my chest. Bra, underlayer and long sleeves. I was wrong about everything. I got out and unpacked and repacked my pack about three times. Food in the bottom? Top? Where should I keep my rain gear? But I tried to smile, tried to look in "the know." We compared pack weights. I had about the same weight as all the guys. I have no idea what it weighed, but I put it on and hunkered forward. UGH. I could walk on flat ground fine. We crossed the street to the trail head.

I was happy with my balance at first. I was expecting to be unimaginably off balance. The "hikers" of the group immediately took the lead like gazelles and I was instantly out of breath. We entered the forest and I started drifting farther back, stifled by my long-sleeved shirt. I tweaked my pack straps at a stop for water and put the weight onto my hips. Ahh, temporary relief.

We walked under forest cover, through mud, over rocks and roots. The weather stayed breezy. About twenty five minutes in, I ditched the shirt. It felt awesome to get the sweat off my body. The hills we climbed were moderate and I was going slowly but doing okay. Then, about halfway up, the squishy mud path turned into the rocky steep path. I couldn't do anything but look at my feet, putting one foot down after another. We'd stop every twenty minutes or so for water, which I got conservative with once I felt it sloshing around in my belly. Don't get sick, I thought, just don't get sick. Every turn we came to got steeper. The trail is really that straight-up-damn-the-torpedos kind of shit. I looked up and saw rocks, rocks, rocks....

As we walked further up it began to sprinkle, which initially felt really good on my face and arms, and took the edge off my overheating a bit. It rained harder as we stopped to take our rain covers out of our packs. It rained very heavily for about 5-10 minutes - no thunder though. A passing hiker later told us that we missed the hail that was going on further up the mountain. Laura told a story about coming up with two people who were slow and couldn't get out of a thurnderstom. I really felt like she was directing it at me, I knew she wasn't, but I was lagging father and farther behind the group.

I really couldn't go much faster without getting helplessly out of breath. We eventually got to the part that was "stupidly steep" and I started to feel my left hip joint protesting. I didn't feel like I had the strength to push myself up each step, it was like climbing a never-ending sideways wet, rough, staircase. But I kept my complaints to a minimum and kept going, albiet slower and slower. It got really tough and I began to wonder what the hell I thought I was doing.

But then we reached the krumholtz where the trees start to get stunted and wind blown, and I could see a tiny glimpse of blue mountains ahead. A few minutes later, more steep. I counted my steps as I went, resetting once I got to 42. It gave me a small goal to reach. Suddenly I glanced up to see where i was and I was blown away. Infinity in each direction... MOUNTAINS... nothing but green, blue, clouds, haze...

I wish I could say I ran the last bit, that I triumphantly scampered to the cabin. But I pressed on at the same pace, really unable to go at any other speed or pace. I did manage to take some pictures and photos to prove that I had done it. It may have been one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I didn't bail, quit, cry, break a bone or have to turn back like I had feared for so many nights before.

After settling into the RMC hut (Grey Knob) which had Tibetan prayer flags hanging inside of it, we took a short hike to check out the areas where we'd do our plot work. I paired up with Annie probably because we seem to have similar paces and demeanor, and she was kind to me as I slowly grappled with the trail.

We grabbed our day packs and got our equipment, proceeded to go up the mountain further. How light, how easy this was compared to only hours before. This I could handle! My feet still bugged me a little but not to the magnitude that it mattered.

We hiked above the treeline and all I could do was grin. The view was fantastic, and the alpine flowers were easy to pick out, so tiny and so beautiful. We selected a plot that was closest to camp, and I was exceptionally thrilled by this (less hiking 2x per day to get plot measurements.). It was surveyed in 2000 by another group so we also got the historical context too.

After finishing our plot work, Annie and I took photos of each other on Grey Knob (the rock) itself. It felt SO good to be in the sun, in nature, in the mountains.

Dinner was awesome but now I am nervous that my dinner will suck in comparison. Tonight's was tortellini, spinach and red sauce. MMN! I ate heartily though I am still nervous about my stomach I am okay now. I'll try not to worry about that, which can help also.

After dinner we watched the sun set from a scenic vista. IT was unimaginably beautiful. I have never seen infinite mountains before. Peaks everywehre. So gorgeous, so pristene, so perfect. A perfect end to a triumphiant and important day.

Prelude - Alpine Flora

2008-06-20T23:59:00.000-04:00

People say that to truly live, you need to challenge yourself. When I first saw Alpine Flora on the course listings, I ruled it out as a physical impossibility for me to take.

I've never been athletic, coordinated, strong or graceful, and I've been self-conscious about it for years. That, combined with a sedentary job and weight gain, I would never have thought a year ago that I'd do something like this, something so unbelievably physical.

But I did. Perhaps it was the lack of other options, or the fact that the other classes were in areas that I already knew so much about.

So, I hesitatingly packed, overwhelmed with anxiety and questions I couldn't answer. I'm still convinced I underpacked or skipped something important.

So, last night I reached my apex of worry, then hit a zen-like calm. Things will happen as they will.

Teaching in the Outdoors (summary of learning)

2008-06-19T11:18:00.002-04:00

I walked into this class with almost no experience teaching children or teaching in the outdoors, which also happened to be my motivators for taking the class. I was excited to be exposed to teaching in the outdoors because it boils down truly to what I'd like to do as a career. If I can inspire a love of nature and a true connection to it, I can really make some kind of difference in the next generations of children that are coming into the world.

I am extremely happy with the way the course went, and I think that have fulfilled my goals (to learn some of the logisitics with dealing with groups of people in the outdoors, and different ways to keep people focused and engaged in the out of doors). I think I gained a lot of insight from thinking about the roadblocks and talking to the class about their experiences in helping others overcome the roadblocks that we face when getting people to be involved in nature. I also feel that being asked to sit and journal, sit and take in what is going on around me really did help me to clarify my brain after a long day of learning as well. I didn't write as much in my journaling as I actually thought about (it's actually been a long time since I've done so much writing with a pen so I couldn't really keep up with my thoughts.) I think that by having us all share activities with each other I was able to see how they would be related to different ages and different learning styles, and it is fantastic to now have a set of activities which I can use in my practica if necessary.

Centering on the design motifs, I also think that there are some in that list I wouldn't normally have thought to use, such as fantasy and small worlds, but are just as helpful as the hunter-gatherer and adventure themes that I am used to. I really think that place-based education is the future of our education, and the map making along with all the other motifs could be used with any age level outside to help to bring the environment to them and get them reconnected with the world around them. I appreciated the discussion of the motifs and I was also delighted to see that the motifs were all touched on in our final activities. (Like the fantasy of finding "baby dragons" and making maps of an unfamiliar territory, hunting and seeking certain things in nature, the adventure of being blindfolded in the woods, pretending to be monkeys with great enthusiasm...) It is always easy for me to see the hunter/gatherer opportunity for learning but it is great to add the other motifs to my bag of tricks as well.

Additionally, the references that were available will be useful to me in my practica, and we have some of the same resources available at the Wells Reserve where I will be teaching. Overall I feel like the course has given me familiarity with what types of learning goes on in the outdoors and by doing so increased my confidence upon starting my practicum in July.

Teaching in the Outdoors - My Bag of Tricks

2008-06-19T10:44:00.004-04:00

My Environmental Education Bag of Tricks Includes....

ambulators to make a long walk seem shorter or more fun
how to relate common games to environmental issues
the developmental appropriateness of certain games
knowing how to use all 5 senses
being able to encourage thoughtful reflection
nature journaling
colors of nature game
onion trail game
call and responses
animal allies role playing games
hunter gatherer searches, games, scavenger hunts
fantasy and map-making placed based education activities
allowing kids to make up names for the plants that they're seeing
comfort in leading a group of kids
when to do an active vs. a quieter program
how to be aware of potential safety issues
how to inject a sense of adventure into nature exploration
how to get parents and mixed age groups going
ways of getting the attention of a group that isn't listening

I think I've got a lot more that I haven't written down, and I think I'll continue to add to this list whenever I learn new things. I love the fact that a lot of my classmates shared their experiences, too, so I can also approach them for advice if I need it.

Teaching in the outdoors (class journal 3)

2008-06-16T15:13:00.002-04:00

One needs only to look at the dashboard of my car, the shelves in my apartment or inside the heavy boxes when I move to understand that I must be a hunter gatherer or collector. I have a feather that I've yet to identify on my dashboard, I have coral, rocks, shells, bone, animal track casts strewn about, and it's tough for me to resist the urge to pick wildflowers.

It may sound bad, but some environmentalists have told me that I'm stealing things from nature, but I know that by using my senses and it is always a thrill for me to seek new things in an environment. I think that we miss a lot surrounding us because we fail to really look at things, and by seeking certain colors, objects or textures we open ourselves up to observing a lot more in nature.

Also, by collecting different signs (as I did during my mammalogy class at the Harris Center last semester) you can really get to know an animal that you may never catch an actual glimpse of, like a bobcat, moose or fisher. I think some of the hunter gatherer motif actually involves a bit of adventure, too. It is an adventure to hunt for things, and it is a joy to discover something you've never seen. I felt at ease finding dragonfly enuvae once I found one, I saw them everywhere! I'd never seen something like that, evidence so fresh of emergence, and it was a thrill to me every time.

Teaching in the Outdoors (class journal 2)

2008-06-16T14:53:00.003-04:00

Sitting in the marsh, if I were asked to write on this when I arrived here, I should describe only a few meager glimpses of life. A blue heron nest stands still and empty at the top of a dead tree, a few ripples of bugs on the surface of the water. But as I stared at the still water, I saw the first few glimpses of life. Newts swam underwater, a great match to go with the efts we were finding throughout the previous days. I caught a leech that was swimming (something I've never seen).

Apparently I have forgotten all of my freshwater biology, or I have never really been to a swamp, because everything we pulled out, every muck-filled bucket was full of life. Every bit of pond scum every bit of plant hid a living thing. There was life everywhere. And if only we could get people to go outside to see below the "mucky" water, see into the mud, see into the forest and open their eyes, their senses to that sense of adventure, we would feel so much more connected to the world.

I don't think I'll ever drive past a swam again and look at it in the same way...

Teaching in the Outdoors - Day 1

2008-06-14T15:41:00.002-04:00

Today was he first day of class for my Teaching in the Outdoors class. We've had a full, long day and as I write this I'm sitting in Panera bread (free wireless wohoo) sipping a chai and trying to remember the entire day as well as I can.

We started with the typical introductions, then went outside. The first activity was a silent walk, we walked from the entrance of the Harris Center to a tree-shaded lawn. As I listened to the typical noises of morning birds waking up to song, we all heard one that we weren't expecting. It went hoo-ho-ho-HOO... hoo-ho-ho-HOO and come to find out it was a pair of Bard Owls. How neat is that?! It's so rare for them to sing during the day so they must be gathering food for new chicks. I could tell that this would be one of those special classes at that. We played a few great group games before going down to the lower part of the field to journal using all of our senses (see previous entry for an excerpt).

Another neat activity followed when our teacher brought out paint swatches (the kind you can pick up at the Hardware store) and asked us to find that color in the open field below us. I first got yellow and found a yellow leaf and a dandelion, then a purple card had me picking other purple wildflowers. Each person in the class took their find and laid it out on a white bandanna, and it really tuned us into the colors other than the dominating green in the grass. I love how with the conscious attention of the mind, our senses can be so much sharper, more discriminating. Throughout the rest of the day I felt my eyes picking out sudden flashes of color - the yellow butterfly's wing glinting, the bright green beetle on the rock, the wildflowers within the grass.

After that, we were allowed to take plants in the area and smudge them onto small pieces of paper to make a drawing. I took an Indian Paintbrush and created what turned out to be a very beautiful sunrise (or sunset, depending on who you ask) behind mountains made with clover leaf smudging. I'll try to scan it if I get a chance.

Teaching in the Outdoors (class journal)

2008-06-14T15:19:00.002-04:00

Below me ferns spread rising and splayed to meet the sun, star shaped flowers and vines creep along under their cover. Lichen spreads lazily on the rock, the wind picks up and I hear bugs buzzing, trees rustling and it almost sounds like running water. A big black ant crawls across my smudge painting, a spider starts and stops hesitatingly on the rock face, in a hauntingly mechanical manner. A dragon fly sits for a moment on a leave then another, then rests beside me.

Beetles, bees, ants, moths and butterflies dance in and out of view, in and out of earshot. Above my head a dead pine reaches up into the cloudless sky like the bristles of an inverted broom, as poplars and aspen flutter in a high breeze. Dots of yellow buttercups on the ground in the grass are navigated by bees ad butterflies in a lazy but precise path. A green caterpillar inches up my leg, then arm to check me out.

I can feel the weather chance as a cold breeze seems across my exposed skin. I am in awe of how many bugs and plants and flowers I've never stopped to watch or hear. How many different buzzes, flicks, whines, flutters, rustles, chirps, peeps and whistles there are to hear, and how many more I do not yet hear, awaiting to be heard.

Interviewing... the pressure!

2008-05-05T18:10:00.003-04:00

So this morning I got all "spruced" up and drove to Wells, Maine for an interview for a practicum opportunity. Perhaps I should back up. Through my grad program at Antioch, we are required to take a total of 8 credits as a practicum or internship. Usually this is done as 2 credits in the summer, 2 in the fall and 4 in the spring. The practicum consists of 150 hours per two credit practica which is quite reasonable. I've been looking at programs in the seacoast area both because its a shorter drive and I've got a background in marine biology, so the coast is a natural choice. I have been a little behind in finding a practicum because of other academic work, so it was awesome when a fellow classmate recommended one for me. "It would be perfect for you!" she said.

And boy was she right. I went to Wells to interview at the Wells Natural Esturarine Research Reserve for an environmental education position. The position itself involves being a second teacher for their young kid day long programs and their older week long programs for kids from 9-12. The topics are fun, the courses are outdoors and the camp is exceptionally education focused.

I got on well with th director that I ws interviewing with, and though I have little experience with direct teaching of kids, I think I deomonstrated that I knew a lot about estuaries, bogs, oceans, intertidal areas and that I didn't mid getting muddy.

She said she was interviewing a couple of people this week - I know of at least one more from Antioch - and that she'd give a call at the end of the week.

Thankfully, I have a lot to do this week, so it'll keep my mind of the suspense.

After the interview I walked around the place and it was absolutely gorgeous. I hope that I get the position and that I can come back with my camera to take pictures of the place. It was the first day in a while that it wasn't rainy, and I saw all kinds of wildlife. I saw deer tracks, coyote scat, a garter snake, birds, seagulls, swallows, ducks, fish, butterflies, flowers - it was so picturesque and perfect.

Wish me luck!

Spring?

2008-03-11T16:58:00.004-04:00

Ahh spring break is here, but I say that with the most sarcastic of all "ahhs." I'm not really getting a chance to relax this spring break, but I am a little encouraged that I'll have some time to catch up on what I'm reading - it's all quite interesting, I have just had little time to work it into my schedule lately.

Spring pops its head out every now and then here, though I'm completely jet-lagged by daylight savings time from this past weekend. I think I've said this before on this blog, but I'd much rather allow my body to naturally adjust to the few minutes difference in the timing of the sunrises and sunsets throughout the year than I the thought of being so jarringly thrown back into darkness.

I did see a robin this past friday, which for me is a sure sign that spring is on its way. Though, now it's 22 degrees out again, so my green suede coat will have to wait a few more weeks to break out of the closet.

effectiveness, not eifficiency

2008-02-19T13:58:00.003-05:00

A great quote from one of my readings this week regarding learning:

"If learning is what we value, then we ought to value the process of learning as much as we value the result of it. A typical classroom narrows both thinking strategies and answer options. Educators who insist on singular approaches and the "right answer" are ignoring the history of our species: Human beings have thrived because we continually seek viable alternative solutions instead of being bound to a single path. The human brain survives on effectiveness, not efficiency. Limiting education to the search for the right answer- as we do when we focus on standardized testing - violates the law of the adaptability of the developing brain. Quality education encourages a wide-open creative problem solving approach, there by exploring alternative thinking options, multiple right answers, and creative insights. These are not valued on standardized tests."

inside wants out

2008-02-11T14:21:00.000-05:00

I've been working out lately. I got a little tired of being the last one up the side of the mountain each time our class went on a field trip. I do feel a lot more active than I have in any other winter, and I'm actually losing weight instead of gaining it while snow's on the ground - which is a fantastic improvement.

But I have to say, winter still gets to me a bit. I miss being outside. Today, the wind is howling with a -15F wind chill, and I'm sitting indoors, wishing I was following tracks through the woods, but knowing that really, that wouldn't be healthy. I get stir crazy in the winter, and a tad depressed. Right now, that's manifesting in an aversion to sitting still. I don't want to read what I have to for class because it involves being under artificial light and sitting still for hours at a time.

(I did, however, update my tracking photo album to include the most recent class, where we saw some awesome stuff. Above is a picture of bobcat tracks, and that day we saw coyote, mink, and bear signs.... sweet.)

If I could read while running at the gym, I would, but bouncing up and down while running makes me a little nauseous if I try to read.

I'm also having a paradox between what I'd like to read and what I am supposed to read. I have a few books that I ordered for personal reasons (The Omnivore's Dilemma, Blink, The World Without Us, etc.) that are calling me, but I have to read 6 chapters of Beak of the Finch, 4 chapters of Evolutionary Ecology, 2 chapters of my Learning Development Book, and I have to finish the book on brains. Phew. I should stop writing and get back to work...

Unplug children

2008-02-07T23:02:00.001-05:00

Inspired by several things and remembering Louv's book, "Last Child in the Woods" I decided to make a bumpersticker that expressed what I felt about the way kids were growing up these days. It's now available for sale at my Zazzle site should you feel so inclined. I think there's a few more ideas still stewing, so there may be more coming.

Foxy lady

2008-02-07T22:46:00.000-05:00

Last week I went tracking for the first time since I started taking Mammalogy. Since then, the conditions have been horrid for tracking - everything is melting and rain obscures any tracks that were there. But, since I have some pictures of the tracks I saw, I thought I'd show you what they looked like in fresh, good snow, instead of the junk we're dealing with now.

On my first jaunt out I saw squirrel tracks, white footed mouse tracks and red fox tracks! I had no idea there was so much red fox activity in Durham, but there were plenty of tracks gonig up and down the frozen Oyster river and through the woods. I had a great time out in the snow following the tracks around, and I can't wait to do more!

Tracking...

On Icicles and language

2008-02-07T22:37:00.000-05:00

So tonight I am writing a paper regarding the language development of 18-24 month olds. After having difficulty finding anyone I know with a 2 year old (everyone's child seems to be older or an infant!) I decided to to my analysis on a home video of my brother Greg when he was two, circa 1988 (my mom's haircut is hillarious.)

I've had a great time writing this paper because its forced me to look at really what stage Greg was in at the time by looking at his language alone, instead of just thinking that his speech was the most adorable thing ever.

An excerpt:

When mom interacted with Greg, it was clear that they had certain nicknames for things that they were doing. The tinsel that they were putting on the tree was called “icicles” which Greg seemed to understand was the shiny stuff he was attempting to put on the Christmas tree. I wondered if he knew where the nickname came from – the tree resembled one coated in ice when the “icicles” were all applied – and I wonder if he thought they resembled each other at all, because there were big icicles outside of the window hanging from the eave of the roof. It was clear, however, that his meaning of icicles as being the silver, thin tinsel they were putting on the tree was a little less than concrete a few minutes later. Greg opened a box of ornament hooks, spilling them onto the floor, heaping them into a pile and then dropping them from above his head in front of him. These ornament hooks were silver like the tinsel – and when asked what he was doing, he said “Look icicles!” at that time, mom corrected him and said, “No, honey, those are hooks for the ornaments.” “Icicles,” Greg said back. Mom slyly scooped up the pile of ornament hooks and returned with some more tinsel. “Lets put more of these icicles on the tree,” mom said, “and daddy will attach the hooks later.” This, to me, was an example of the “No, that’s not a kitty!” example given in class – the subtle dissonance (a la Piaget) and learning that must have been going on for Greg all the time at that age.

What was also interesting is that at the same time I was writing this paper, I came across an article that has to do with language development of toddlers that is quite amazing.

ScienceDaily (2008-02-04) -- Researchers are studying a ground-breaking theory that young children are able to learn large groups of words rapidly by data-mining. Their theory, which they have explored with 12- and 14-month-olds, takes a radically different approach to the accepted view that young children learn words one at a time -- something they do remarkably well by the age of 2 but not so well before that.

I shared this article with the class and the teacher thanked me for it. Maybe she'll mention something about it in class tomorrow. Anyway, that's all for now, back to the paper.

Updates

2008-01-27T23:08:00.000-05:00

I've been a little slow to update lately, as I've had a lot of external stuff going on that has nothing to do with grad school or environmental thought. I hope to go back to writing more than once a week just so that I can keep writing for enjoyment, instead of just taking notes and writing things for class.

I found a cute cartoon online that was inspired by Richard Louv (left) and the No Child Left Inside thing. Nice to see that other people are worried about the issue, too.

A few things have happened in school lately, and I'll quickly update you - with a thin promise of more detail later.

My classes for the semester are Evolutionary Ecology, Ecological Economics & Public Policy, Learning Development & Theory and Mammalogy. The last one was a last-minute change. I was signed up for Herpetlogy (study of reptiles and amphibians) but didn't want to take it, I was wait listed for the other class. A half hour before the first class was to begin I got a notification that the course was open. I'm excited that I get to study mammals instead. It's a course in tracking, scatology and mammal behavior. I am totally psyched tonight, actually, because we had fresh snow today, and I'm breaking in my new snowshoes tomorrow looking for my first tracks. (snowshoes were highly recommended and/or manditory for the course, so I picked up some at Play it Again Sports for a pretty good deal.)

I've only recieved three out of the four grades for the past semester, I got a Very Good in both Foundations of Environmental Education and Evolutionary Ecology. I got a Good in Community Ecology of the New England Landscape - and honestly, I think I deserved it because it was the course that came last when I was taking care of everything each week. I didn't put my heart fully into that one, but I did learn a lot. I'm a little annoyed about the Evolutionary Ecology. I was sure I'd be getting an Excellent in that in at least the class participation part... but I got Very Goods across the board. I thought I did better than that, honestly, but I'll take the V. The last one that I'm still waiting on a grade for is Language of Nature... and I'm not sure on that. I loved that course immensely, but its a very subjective grading system, so I am just going to have to wait and see.

More thoughts later...

the snowman

2008-01-09T12:11:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting this morning, looking outside at the slushy snow on a gray winter day, watching two young parents making a snowman with their little girl (about 5 years old), because it is warm outside and the snow is such good packing it just begs for it.

As I was watching them play, I had a thought. I can safely venture that this family doesn't have a lot of money, as the parents are very young. Where I live is not a very affluent apartment building, and there are usually kids running around outside.

I began to think back, again, to my childhood. Playing outside, playing in the neighborhood is not only good for kids socially, gets them outside and lets them find themselves, it is also free. There is no video game console to purchase, no controller needed to experience nature. Could it be, simply, that those who are naturally letting their kids outside today are the ones with less money? If you don't have the $800 to spend on a Nintendo Wii, are you more willing to encourage your child to play outside, or offer them different opportunities to do so?

It is a question that just popped into my head, and I wonder if the next generation of kids in touch with nature will be the ones who grew up in the lower middle class, without access to the technology that kids have in their faces all the time in more affluent homes. Also, how can we reach those who do have more resources in their family and get them to allow their children to do the same things that the middle class parents thought of naturally?

For now, I'm just tickled pink to see that families still do things together and play outside.

growing up

2008-01-09T11:45:00.001-05:00

There is a lot coming ahead this year, and a lot of changes to my life are still afoot.

I decided that this year I will be trying to eat differently. I am going to try and shift my diet in the direction of fruits and veggies, and while picking them and learning how to cook with them, I plan to choose local and/or organic fruits and veggies. I touched on this a bit before when I talked about silent spring, and my gut reaction to the pesticides on them. I've had time to think about it and it is healthier for me to get fresh fruit and veggies instead of processed things or things that have been sprayed with tons of pesticides and preservatives. I want to expand my cooking skills, too, so that would be an interesting challenge. Also, I'd like to support the local community here, and I'm quite curious about the possibility of getting a farm share, and perhaps splitting it with Lincoln, who cooks more often than I do. (Or just giving him the leftovers, perhaps).

What a farm share is depends on the farm that you're talking about. Farms that grow food locally sell "shares" of what they grow to consumers, and that money helps pay for the farm. How it works in most places is that you get a basket of fresh food once a week, depending on what is growing at the time. You then use that food all week and then get another basket the following week. It may be ambitious, but I'm thinking that it would open up a lot of new recipes for me and save money in the long run. Also, it would allow me to more naturally eat what is in season at the time - squashes in the fall, berries in july, etc., and be more in touch with the natural rhythm of agriculture.

Just like my arguments against daylight savings time, I think that we've become very removed from the rhythm of nature itself in our current society. People would not groan so much about it being "dark" when they leave for work, or "dark" when they come home if we got rid of daylight savings time. Our bodies would have time to adjust to the incremental changes that happen through the seasons. If each day it is a little darker or a little lighter outside, our bodies adjust. The same goes for food. We're so conditioned to having whatever type of food that we want whenever we want it, we're out of touch with what is actually in season during the year. Global trade has allowed us to forget the difference between native and exotic fruits and veggies. I think that by buying what is in season from local growers, I can be a bit more in touch with my "roots" if you'll pardon the pun.

One Giant Leap

2007-12-28T09:49:00.000-05:00

I am watching a movie called, "One Giant Leap" which was on demand on Comcast this morning. It is all about art, nature, culture, future, and the consumer culture. Its great. So far, I am loving it. A quote...

"A lot of our youth, they're affected by some very potent and powerful imagery out there you know, like the NBA, like Michael Jordan, Sony, the golden arches, bk you name it they're there, those symbols they rule, they are dominating our landscape, culturally. So I'm in the business of sharing other dominant cultural imagery as well and saying, 'hey, lets not forget about these things - beacuse they are who we are.' Most people done' even want to be Mali, they don't want to be Polynesians, no they want to be what is coming out of the square in the corner of their lounge. they want to be like Tupac, and Puffy Colmbs and these other people. Because that's more attractive than being Mali. There's millions of dollars poured go into making that so. we ain't got no resources like that, no. we just have cooky fellows like me who just carve sculptures for the rest of their lives, and laugh in the face of the wisdom of society and say, 'hey, i'm going to do it this way.'"

It is a cultural snapshot, with music, quotes from artists and poets, from celebrities and regular people. Beautiful and inspiring. I just ordered it off of the website which sells it, so I can show it to other people.

I first heard this song, not knowing it was part of this project, about 5 or 6 years ago. I'm excited that I was able to find it on you tube. Enjoy. I've posted the lyrics below.

When I look back over the years at the things that brought tears to my eyes
Papa said we have to be wise to live long lives.
Now I recognize what my father said before he died
Vocalize things I've left unsaid
Left my spirit unfed for too long
I'm coming home to my family where I can be strong, be who I plan to be, within me
my ancestry giving me continuity
Would it be remiss to continue in this way?
would you rather I quit?
Come with that other shit making people's hips sway
Lip service I pay but I'm nervous
I pray for all the mothers who get no sleep
Like a lifeline I write rhymes cause my compassion is deep
For the people who fashioned me my soul to keep
And this is who I happen to be
And if I don't see that I'm strong then I won't be

This is what my daddy told me
I wished he'd a hold me a little more than he did
But he taught me my culture and how to live positive
I never wanna shame the blood in my veins
And bring pain to my sweet grandfather's face
In his resting place I make haste to learn and not waste
Everything my forefathers earned in tears
For My Culture

Fall back again,
Crawl from the water,
Water to air,
You'e on you're feet again.you're feet again

(Robbie Williams)

"Hello dad, remember me,
I'm the man you thought I'd never be
I'm the boy who you reduced to tears,
Dad I been lonely for 27 years
Yeah that's right, my names Rob,
I'm the one who landed the popstar's job
I'm the one who you told look don't touch
I'm the kid who wouldn't amount to much
I believe in the senses sight and sound
I have always been too loud
Won't you help me drown it out
I'm what I feel
And what I'm feeling is surreal
I'm a mass of spinning wheels
Always digging in my heels
now I've got the faith to

(chorus)

(Maxi Jazz)

Lace up your boots we're going back to the roots
Speaking to my ghetto youths freak freaking for loot
And nice things better check what your future brings
It's now and your forefathers for the know how
Go now into the world without hatred
Use your head
If the needle is wise be the thread
And weave ancestral wisdom yours by birth
Spreading the Lord's word over this broad earth

moment of repose

2007-12-20T16:40:00.001-05:00

The ride into Keene this morning was long and beautiful - the snow whipped around and fell in huge chunks - groups of snowflakes clinging together, ganging up on the drivers. The trip was, to most, hazardous, but to me, serene. I had no worries about what time I would arrive on campus, and just took the time that I was slowly pushing through the slush to look around. I remember the first week that I came up to Keene, the utter warmth, the bright red sunrise, and now we've gone around the sun a bit. The morning dawns gray, reflecting the falling snow, and erasing the distinction between land and sky.

In both classes today, we had time to unwind and reflect upon the semester. In Language of Nature, we read our semester's work and wrote about our goals, experiences and future aspirations. It was a calm and lovely way to wrap up the semester.

In Foundation of Environmental Education, there was an air of suspended sadness, as if the fun we had together would end after we walked out the door. Each of us read a sentence from our personal philosophy papers while tossing around a colored spool of yarn. By the end, we were all interwoven, and the diversity of our responses was amazing. We each got to keep a piece of the bright, rainbow yarn, and I've begun to make knot patterns out of it so that I ca keep it on my backpack as a keychain and reminder of my first semester.

I think I will be posting some key things form my philosophy paper later, but the sentence I shared was pretty representative of what I learned both in Foundations and in Language of Nature.

My goal as an educator is to fill in the gaps in our education that exclude, omit, or marginalize our place in relationship with nature, and to bring humans and nature back in closer proximity, to inspire passions and encourage responsible action.

I believe this is my purpose, and I am very thankful at the end of this part of the journey that I have come this far, and been so engrossed in the experience.

weather outside... delightful

2007-12-19T13:40:00.000-05:00

A quick update while I plan the rest of my afternoon. I've finished my State of the Systems project with what I hope was great success. We hunkered down and really nailed the presentation, did some last-minute research, etc., and looked prepared, coordinated and on top of things. I even had a classmate come up to me and say they wish they had been in my group. I'm very happy it went off well, and I'm doubly happy that its DONE.

Today I have to make a quick jaunt over to McDonald Lot to take some photos of our prism sampling area, make a map, and play with some of the data that Sam sent me. I'm not looking forward to that at all.

I'm also "assembling" my portfolios for Language of Nature and Foundations of Environmental Education. This is not bad, except I have to edit my Philosophy paper & rewrite my Nature Encounter Essay. I am looking forward to tackling those tonight. (I've already put together what I need to do for Language of Nature except for the paper part, so that's a plus.)

I also have to do laundry today and make another batch of pizzelles to bring up to keene. After last night I'm already only left with 3 dozen! I figure that while I let the laundry go I can edit the papers.... at least that's the plan for now.

This week is my last week of classes for the semester. I'm excited yet, sad. I'm going to miss my Keene buddies! I've made a lot of new friends and I can only hope that some of them are in my classes in the spring.

In other news, I'm getting excited about christmas since there's been no shortage of snow up here... finally, a year where I can look outside and at least pretend that its a "normal" winter! (P.S. check out the picture of the HUGE white pine that I came across while walking around Eliot. Crazy!)

language of the flowers

2007-12-13T07:43:00.000-05:00

I was looking for a poem to read in my language of nature class, and typed in "poems about language" in Google. The first poem that came up was by Shel Silverstein, author of several children's poetry books like "Where the Sidewalk Ends." I think it's a great poem, and it fits well with our class discussion on the origins of language being from nature.

Forgotten Language (by Shel Silverstein)

Once I spoke the language of the flowers
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said
Once I smiled, in secret, at the gossip of the starlings
And shared a conversation with the housefly in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions of the crickets
And joined the crying of each falling, dying flake of snow.
Once I spoke the language of the flowers...
How did it go?
How did it go?

unencumbered numbered words

2007-12-11T23:24:00.000-05:00

Merriam-Webster, today, announced the "word of the year." I was barely paying attention to the local, Maine news as it breezed over the world news, as it was a mere reading of the Google News top headlines for today. But my ears perked up when I heard what the word was. Are you ready? Previous years have featured integrity (2005) quagmire (2004) and who can forget last year's truthiness?

This year's word of the year: w00t

w00t (interjection)
expressing joy (it could be after a triumph, or for no reason at all); similar in use to the word "yay"

For those not familiar, this is a term which was borne of video games, specifically the online role-playing ones which take in teens and college students and keep them there for ages. This isn't a word, either, its an abbreviation or shorthand for an exclamation of joy. My gaming roomate says that it originiated in the day of "Quake" and stood for "we owned other team." What makes this one special? People say it randomly, everywhere on the internet. The two 'o's in w00t are actually zeros, a hitchiker from a digital conversation.

Does that it is about technology make it a word that is worth a dictionary like Merriam-Webster honoring it? It could be argued that many other technological words have come into our culture in the past few years that are worth recognizing, and to prevent "new" words from coming into our language is counter productive. I agree that terms like google and blog have now become part of our vocabulary, whether we chose them to be there or not. But their purposes, origins and meaning far outweigh this immature online slang. Even the newscaster who was describing it used it incorrectly about three times, before awkwardly shrugging.

Words that act as a critical lens like quagmire or democracy, or reflect on our lives like truthiness, blog, google or tsunami are welcome to be picked as representatives of the current year. But I fear that letting w00t win this year just opens a Pandora's box. It is a symptom of a culture whose next generation is in danger of being permanently attached to television screens.

I think that by letting this type of slang and abbreviated gaming talk enter our daily discourse, we're somehow losing other pieces of our language, detracting from meaning and eliminating the very purpose and use of our beautiful words which already exist.

"The most important aim of newspeak was to provide a means of speaking that required no thought what-so-ever. It uses abbreviations or clipped conjunctions in order to mask or alter a word's true meaning. For example, words such as Miniluv and joycamp, allow the speaker to speak without actually being forced to think about what they were talking about.. or at least, not as much as if they were required to use complete phrases such as "Ministry of Love" or "Forced Labor Camp". These words just roll right off the lips before the speaker can even contemplate what he is really saying." -George Orwell, 1984

I believe it is the purpose of my life to touch at least as many kids as I can, to prevent them from ending up this way. Wish me luck.

More on this later... for now, sleep!

No Child Left Inside Forum

2007-11-28T10:47:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, despite getting only two hours of sleep for various reasons, I went to Concord to go to the 'No Child Left Inside' forum - which featured Richard Louv as the keynote speaker, a panel discussion, and then workgroups to try and create action items to address the problem of kids losing their connection to nature. If you don't recognize the name Louv, he is the one who wrote the book entitled, "Last Child in the Woods : Saving Children from Nature Deficit Disorder" which I applauded earlier.

First of all, I can't express how lucky and happy I was to be able to attend this workshop. I was one of about 200 educators and scientists and important people there that I got to meet. It would be the equivalent of Al Gore coming to your hometown to teach you about global warming personally. I wore my favorite important-looking-suit-outfit which was a long black jacket, a long white shirt and nice pants that came with the jacket. I also put contacts in and makeup on, and wore my boots. I wanted to look professional, and I certainly did.

The keynote address was amazing. Louv talked about his own childhood, and then shifted to why such experiences in nature are so important. He quoted studies which showed that children who have time in nature have less stress, are healthier, have lessened or no symptoms of ADD, score better on their standardized testing in science and take fewer medication than those that don't. He also talked about the reasons why parents don't allow their children outside, including fears of mosquito-borne illness, random stranger kidnappings. and other fears. "Whatever the reason," Louv said," it is too easy to blame this on video games, too easy to find demons." He wanted us to move past the discussion of where we went wrong, and leap to the next step which was action. "The future should be seen as a great opportunity," he said. He compared the last 20 years to a 'creative depression' and that we should be on the dawn of the most creative period that we've ever had. What's important is that we should get the next generation to carry nature in their hearts.

One of the most memorable things he said was that we have to leave the culture of despair behind. We won't be turning around to the 1950s anytime soon, but we can affect change if we try to. People always ask him, "Will we ever be able to go back to the way that it was?" and he responds, "We should be asking: How can we make life better than it ever was?"

Louv said that he's been doing these talks for a while now, and he's seen the awareness of the issue grow, but he was optimistic that New Hampshire, because of its unique attitudes and beliefs, could really be the first one to cross the line into action. He seemed genuinely hopeful that, starting with this extraordinary group of people, we could make this change for future children. We just have to figure out how - which is actually what the workshops in the afternoon are for. I was enthralled by this. My one thing about environmental education so far that I've been worried about is that its easy to point out the way things should be, its not easy to point out how to get there next.

Following his address, they had a panel of speakers, including Louv, an Antioch Environmental Education Director (David Sobel), the NH Dept. of Health Epidemiologist (Dr. Jose T. Montero), The National Youth Education Director for the Sierra Club (Martin LeBlanc), the Science Curriculum and Assessment Consultant (Jan Mclaughlin), and a sustainable developer, Steven Whitman. They got to answer moderated questions, followed by audience questions and comments. I thought that the moderating could have been done a little more smoothly, but overall the discussion was interesting. What was frustrating was that the moderator always directed the question to one panelist, instead of letting them decide who wanted to answer the question. I think that the most lively panelist was Jan McLaughlin, who was the only teacher person there -and since she develops curricula for schools, she really knows the ins and outs of how NH Public schools work, and where change can be made.

At lunch, I got Louv to sign a copy of his book for me. I told him that I was a grad student in environmental education, and he signed my book as follows. If you can't read it, it says, "To Carla, a 'natural' leader" which, is, well, AWESOME.

Because of a lot of different reasons, Louv's book and perspective has now created a movement, and I am behind it 100%. I have a million ideas as to how to implement this, and I really think that I can contribute to this solution and change the world. I'll talk more about the working sessions later - I'm just so excited to be a part of this.

Recycled art

2007-11-20T14:53:00.000-05:00

It snowed today, and I was feeling creative. I decided to peruse online and I found a few artists selling their own unique stuff, and also a few websites that use recycled or sustainable materials.

Debby Arem Designs (her shop is on Etsy.com) - I came across Debby's gallery while browsing some Etsy shops. She makes jewelry, clipboards, clocks (see left) and everything else out of recycled circuitry and recycled materials. I am very impressed with the quality and creativity here. If you have any technophiles on your Christmas list, or anyone who appreciates something unique, go check it out.

Mandinka Designs (also on Etsy.com) - Another outside of the box thinker, this artists uses men's suits to create purses and christmas stockings. They have a really retro feel.

Keys and Memories (on Etsy.com) - This one appeals to me a lot! Found art is fantastic, which you have such rich and interesting pieces to work with like old typewriter keys. These are great gifts for anyone who's interested in writing, history, reading - great teacher's gift.

Uncommon Goods - This is the first site I came across a few years ago. They have a lot of featured artists on their site. I especially like their jewelry, but they have home goods, glassware, gifts, and new artists are featured monthly. Very neat site, easy to get lost in. Again, most are from recycled materials.

Sites and artists like these may be an answer to the excessive consumerism of the Christmas season. We're not creating more waste, we're learning how to use what's already there, and save some stuff from a landfill instead of creating more to put there. A big set of kudos to these creative individuals and companies.

prisms and sampling and systems oh my!

2007-11-07T21:57:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that this grad school thing isn't all happiness and light. This week has been a tough one to get through, and as I write this, I'm in the UNH Library at 10pm trying to finish a rough draft of a paper on PCBs for my class tomorrow morning.

I'm currently working on 4 group projects:

The PCB paper, which is really more individual than anything else, but is big.
The Plot sampling project (which we took data for on Sunday) which involves a lot of data calculation, and a group-written paper.
The Prism sampling project (which we took data for on Monday) which involves a lot of data calculation and a group presentation.
The State of The Systems Project on the Long Island Sound, which has 3 papers, 2 presentations and a whole lotta work.

I have to admit that I don't really like group projects, so having four to tackle at once has been a... learning experience. I am getting a hang of the research methods that I will need to use, and the program which organizes all of those references, called RefWorks is my best friend as of late. But I still don't like communicating only over email, and being unclear about what direction we should be heading in.

I'm behind this week because of the data collection for the plot/prism sampling taking 2 days instead of one. I spent all day today and yesterday trying to catch up with my other assignments, but I think I will still end up having work to finish on Thursday night. I need to finish this draft this evening though, because it is due tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

Something tells me

2007-11-05T17:39:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday, I didn't stay up with Glickin & Caroline as usual. I was feeling somehow that I wanted to go home. The sky was clouding over and getting colder, and I had been very tired all day. I needed my own warm bed for a nap. I decided to use the gas to go home anyway, since it had been a very long day.

On the way back, as the sun was setting a beautiful crimson behind me, I looked ahead at a pink sky being lit up by sunset. To my shock, on a pink background, there was a rainbow.

Every once and a while I stop to think about the possibility of having a sixth sense, or the possibility that I can be in the right place at the right time so often.

Mike, who was also on his way back home, missed this sight completely, by only 5 or 10 minutes. While it was probably not the safest thing in the world to do, I had to take a picture of this, because I have *never* seen a rainbow and a sunset at the same time. Beautiful.

This is, however, the second rainbow I've seen since coming to Antioch. Every once and a while I get reminded that I am doing the right thing.

The rainbow and the nap were definitely worth the gas.

Surviors

2007-11-05T17:17:00.000-05:00

Disease is something that every history class learns about sooner or later. The Plague, the Great Flu Epidemic, Malaria, Yellow Fever and the like. Each pose significant risk, especially during the time period in which they ravaged the populations.

Tree diseases are similar in that some every person studying history should have heard of at least once; like Dutch Elm Disease.

My Community Ecology teacher pointed an American Elm tree out to us on one of our first field trips to putney. It had a trunk diameter of about 12" and was about 70% healthy. "This," he said, "Is actually an American Elm - but it is rare to see one without disease present. They were once the dominant hardwood around here, but were almost completely destroyed by Dutch Elm Disease."

Dutch Elm Disease is a fungal disease that was accidentally introduced to the United States in 1931, carried over in shipments of Elm from England to be used in furniture factories. The Elm Beetle picks up the fungus and spreads it to other trees, and ajacent trees can spread it to others by their shared roots. This once majestic tree was almost wiped out from our want of pretty furniture.

What's interesting is that I never thought I'd see another Elm that wasn't in a park or on a city street. But today when we did our prism sampling for community ecology, we found two - LARGE ones!

Our immediate first thought was, "What on earth kind of tree is that?!" followed by, "That can't be an elm... can it?"

Silly how delightful I felt knowing that we just found a rare species in the middle of the woods, in its natural habitat - but it was also that they were still hanging on, healthy, and that they would probably come back, despite our meddling. Awesome.

Tidal two-step

2007-10-31T15:21:00.000-04:00

For Foundations of Environmental Education, I was given an assignment to visit and critique a museum or zoo exhibit, to see whether or not it would have an impact on the general public in raising their ecological literacy or environmental values. I chose to visit the Seacoast Science Center in Rye, New Hampshire, which is part of Odiorne State Park. The Seacoast Science Center is an environmental education center in the park which integrates historical and ecological learning about the area, and hands-on programs for children of many age levels.

One notable exhibit was located on a corner of the hallway, was L-shaped and featured two large screens, recessed into a display that was flat so that you looked down upon them. The screen on the right showed a map of the Great Bay Estuary system, including Portsmouth Harbor, the rivers that input into the system, and the open ocean. On the right of the screen were several colorful buttons which could be activated by touching the screen. The question above the buttons was, “Where would you like rainwater to enter?” The choices were each points along the watershed such as Portsmouth Harbor, Odiorne Point, Great Bay, The Oyster River, and the Upper and Lower Piscataqua rivers.

When you touched one of these points, the map created a red area which represented a high concentration of rainwater. The map then showed the tidal movements and distribution of that rainwater. In each scenario, though most were slightly different from each other, the rainwater danced in and out of the inlet, never all being washed out to sea because of tide timing and strength. The rainwater stayed mostly where it was. I was surprised by this. In the Portsmouth Harbor Scenario, where I thought for certain it would all be drawn out to sea, the opposite was true. The rainwater was sucked into the estuary on the next high tide.

The display was based on a complex computer model developed by Dartmouth College, but it was impressive. As the tides cycled and you watch the red rain disperse but still stay centrally located.

The open-ended questions at the end would allow for some kind of group discussion or interaction. I wished I was there with someone else so I could have showed them this exhibit!

The screen on the right had a similar demonstration, only it was more zoomed in on the Great Bay area. On this map, you could point your finger anywhere in the watershed, as many times as you wanted, and a yellow dot would show up and track up and down with the tides where the “pollutant” you just put in the area eventually ends up. Again it reinforced the idea that these systems are complicated, and the idea that all water leads to the sea can be misleading. Especially the idea that things will just "go away" if you dump them into a river or stream.

I think I learned the most from this exhibit out of all the ones in the center (I am a little biased because I have a degree in Marine Biology) but I think it was a good way to illustrate a point. While the exhibit didn't directly say “Don't throw bad things into the waters around here,” it could easily lend itself to that connection. It was interesting, interactive and indirectly brought home a point about water pollution in the area. I think that was very well done.

Are you Funkin kidding me?

2007-10-30T19:10:00.000-04:00

I love halloween, I love autumn and I especially love carving pumpkins, it's a great memory for me. I even was a jack-o-lantern for Halloween one year (see picture to the left!)

However, I was in Joanne's Fabrics the other day, looking for some last-minute Halloween stuff for my costume, and I came across what I thought were decorative pumpkins (I.e. ones for your living room that won't attract flies after a week)... but I was wrong.

I read a little further and found out what they were. They were "Funkins" fake, plastic, carvable pumpkins. That's right, fake pumpkins. Apparently, someone thought that there was a need for a fake pumpkin that you can carve just like real pumpkins, but will last forever and not be such a mess. I went home to look up more about them and here's what I learned from their Frequently Asked Questions page.

Funkins are made of patented low–density polyurethane foam and are painted with polyurethane paint.

Oh, this sounds terrific for the environment. Instead of biodegradable material - like a real pumpkin which can be composted, fed to farm animals, left for squirrels - we have more chemical compounds that will last forever in a landfill. How bad is it to breathe this stuff when you're cutting and scraping it, I wonder?

The walls of Funkins are about one half of one inch thick (varies with size of Funkin). And Funkins are already hollow. This makes them just as easy to carve as real pumpkins (without the gutting and the mess) and very realistic looking.

Are we that oversensitive that we don't want to touch the "goo" inside pumpkins anymore?!

Never use real flames inside Funkins, this could result in fire or the release of harmful gas. There are plenty of options available for lighting Funkins and pumpkins that are safer than real flames such as the Funkins Pumpkin Light and the Funkins Battery Operated Tealight.

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Not only are they fake, they're going to poison me to death if I put a candle in it. I am not making this up - the italisized text comes direction from funkins.com. So, now, they've got you buying their lighting products, too, to put inside their toxic plastic pumpkins. More landfill refuse.

I have a lot of problems here, but even the fact that you can buy them online defeats the purpose. As a kid, every October, we would go out to the country with my family and get a pumpkin from the "pumpkin farm." It was a whole sensory experience, and I remember the leaves being crispy, the smell of the fields, the hayrides, cider, maple candies, sunset and the colors of the leaves and pumpkins, the feeling of my little boots squishing in the mud. I loved that - and it became a family event to carve them too.

In today's hectic family lives, we've already lost so many family activities. Eliminating the trip to a special "pumpkin farm" in the country, by having a sterile, plastic pumpkin come in a box in the mail (probably packed in Styrofoam) robs children of the whole experience! They don't even smell like pumpkins. They may look good to your neighbors on your porch, but it's a sad faximile of what should be an interaction with nature and even a lesson about farming, harvests and seasons.

I'm sorry but I think that Funkins are one of the worst ideas I've ever heard of. For those of you not convinced, think about this. A typical, medium sized pumpkin (real one) costs between $7-10 usually depending on weight and where you get it. The prices for a typical funkin are between $30 and $40 each. What normal family can afford that?

I just don't understand why people would want this. Sometimes, fake replacements for things have a good reason. There are fake floorings that are identical looking to rare rainforest woods, and prevent their over harvesting by providing a feasible alternative. But, there has to be a good reason first. After twenty minutes of searching I couldn't find one website dedicated to why we should stop carving pumpkins, or one reason why its "greener" not to. These replacement pumpkins aren't made of anything natural, and we're doing more harm than good here. They're not safer (obviously, between the fireballs and poison gas) nor less expensive, or more fun somehow. If it isn't broken, don't fix it. Please. I want there to be farmers growing pumpkins around by the time that I have kids, that's all I ask.

Happy Halloween.

the human element

2007-10-24T12:43:00.000-04:00

I am reading a rhetorical analysis (literary criticism) of Rachel Carson's silent spring. It is from chapter 5 of the book "And No Birds Sing" by Craig Waddel. I came across the following passage that sparked my thoughts.

"Silent Spring offers an alternative to technological psychosis yet does not require readers to reject science. Carson uses scientifically validated information to weave humanity into the vast tapestry of life on earth.
She does not insist that all life is the same but leaves considerable room within which a reader can negotiate a place for human needs and desires that is just a bit more special than that occupied by other life. She does not urge people to return to a previous age of innocence but to move forward out of the 'stone age of science.'
She offers a revised view of progress that accounts for multiple perspectives, inculding, but not limited to technological solutions to environmental dilemmas. She does not just give us good and evil. Instead, she waves a terministic screen that accounts for a complex interconnection between humans and other earth life."

I thought that the point above can be summed up in this video. (Ironically, it is a commercial for Dow Chemical.)

I found the juxtaposition there quite interesting. Dow Chemical is known for being polluting and one of the types of companies that Rachel Carson would be fighting were she alive today. But in a way, for PRs sake, at least, Dow has embraced the idea that there is a "complex interconnection" between humans and the earth - and that we have to acknowledge that. Also, the idea that technology and earth can be in harmony is a radical proposal from a chemical company.

Something to think about.

home is where the soil is

2007-10-23T17:31:00.000-04:00

Usually, when people talk about "new forms of life" appearing in their apartments, they're referring to a plate left in the sink too long which begins to grow a new layer of fuzz. But today, I discovered a new kind of life on my porch, which I totally didn't expect to see.

I was sitting outside because it was a beautiful windy day, the type which flips the leaves backwards and allows the falling leaves to dance wildly in the air before surrendering to gravity. I was doing my readings (attached to a clipboard so they woudn't fly away) and I happened to look down at the porch itself. It's made of wood, with small cracks in between the panels of wood. We had a bird feeder out that had a run-in with a storm, and the seed dispersed everywhere. Because of lack of a broom and general laziness, we never really bothered to clean up the seed. (It's natural anyway, right?)

So today, to my surprise I see sunflower sprouts in the cracks! They accumulated a little bit of soil from sand and seed husks to make a home for themselves. They look regularly spaced, too, which is purely coincidental but neat just the same. My only regret is that it is not summer so I could see them grow - I think that the next frost may wipe them out.

I looked at them and I thought about what I'd been learning about community succession - its all about opportunity, and being in the right place at the right time. These guys had the right combination of lazy roommates, randomly occurring conditions, plentiful rain and sunlight, and low traffic so they wouldn't get trampled. Yet they and a few other sprouts are content right where they are. That's succession for you.

a gift could be an enemy

2007-10-23T15:03:00.000-04:00

I've been doing a lot of reading for one of my classes on the idea of environmental justice - or rather, environmental injustice. Just like reading Silent Spring, I was surprised by my own ignorance on the topic. The idea is that there is an inherent inequity both racially, economically and culturally, that allows minority groups to be exploited environmentally. Think of this as the ultimate and finite end to the "Not in My Backyard" argument. Hazardous waste has to go somewhere, and groups or towns that cannot afford to fight it, or do not have enough education to know the effects, or do not have enough socioeconomic power to oppose it, have the worst of the worst environmental pollution and degradation dumped in their own backyard.

I just read a few articles arguing that environmental justice and multicultural education should be integrated into environmental education, and I agree fully. I was left with a whole lot of thinking after reading one particular article about white privilege. It wasn't your typical article on racism as it did not point a finger at people who are white and blame everything on them, but it was a self reflection on the daily privileges that a white person is afforded in the country. The author, a white woman, said that this was very difficult to write, and I think I understand why. Some of the privileges that the author listed were things like:

I can turn on the television or open the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely and positively represented.
I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.
I can be reasonably sure that if I ask to talk to "the person in charge" I will be facing a person of my race.
I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.

There were a total of about fifty of these types of assumptions. What she was attempting to do was to speak of the taboo of privilege. She made a very good point that most everyone in our culture understands that minorities are put a disadvantage, but most are wholly reluctant to admit that their own race is put at an advantage as a result, which would be quite logical if it were not so threatening of an idea to our own egos.

Think about it. If anything, the subject is unsettling because it deflates the sense that we've earned our positions (wherever we stand financially, socially, culturally, popularly) and it makes me, personally, wonder if I got to where I am on my own merit, or as a symptom of this system of privilege. I think our egos may be the strongest reason that were are in such denial of this. Because for me to face that it was not purely a result of my own hard work that got me here is very tough.

On the flip side, this really explains the perpetuation of this system of preference and advancement. If I don't have to worry about daily interactions and constantly have to apologize for, explain or try to live above the notions of my own race, then think of how much more I can succeed in life. When people are constantly having to prove their worth or potential, energy is wasted on that which someone who is privileged could use to further their own status.

Also, when we address issues of environmental justice, where a minority group is being exploited, we need to address the issues head on and through the cultural means present. It is not enough to say that we should strive towards living in a sustainable environment through education - most of that education will never reach these types of communities. Perhaps recognizing some of our own privileges we are afforded will get us to that point.

simply effective

2007-10-17T12:50:00.001-04:00

And then there are pieces of information that are presented in such a creative way, that I can't not talk about them. Check out this WWF (World Wildlife Federation) ad which uses the sun to convey a really neat message about global climate change.

Kudos to whomever thought this one up.

swallowing Silent Spring, part 2

2007-10-16T10:46:00.000-04:00

For a while, I have been cautious of embracing the idea of eating only organic foods. I viewed it as a marketing ploy to somehow convince people that the fruits from farm A are better for you than the ones at farm B, and that you will be healthier as a result of choosing more expensive "organic" foods from farm A. There is a lot of muddiness with the organic certification process as well, and a lot of gray area in the definition. But the definition is as follows:

Organic foods are produced according to certain production standards. For crops, it means they were grown without the use of conventional pesticides, artificial fertilizers, human waste or sewage sludge, and that they were processed without ionizing radiation or food additives.

Now, needless to say I am a grad student without a lot of money, and I'm forced to make pretty frugal decisions when it comes to what I eat and where I live. So buying organic didn't seem to be "worth it" to me. But the section of Silent Spring that I just read may have changed my mind.

Throughout the book, Carson's been describing an effect known to biologists as bio-accumulation. Essentially, when a bug contains a little pesticide, and a bird eats a lot of bugs, they end up with an even higher concentration in them than if they had been exposed to it themselves. I couldn't help but make the mental correlation from the plants and crops that we grow with these chemicals and bio-accumulation in our own bodies. If it happens to robins, snakes, foxes... why would we magically think that we're not ingesting, and storing poisons in our tissues?

Again, I know that this is written in the 1960s, and we have learned a lot then. But I think I need to do more research on where my food comes from and what's done to it before I eat it. Rachel Carson's describing an effect of a particularly notorious pesticide, DDT.

"To find a diet free from DDT and related chemicals, it seems one must go to a remote and pr imitative land, still lacking the amenities of civilization. When scientist investigated the native diet of Eskimos in Alaska, it was found to be free from insecticide... When some of the Eskimos themselves were checked by analysis of fat samples, small residues of DDT were found. The reason for this was clear. The fat samples were taken from people who had left their native villages to enter the United States Public Health Service Hospital in Anchorage for surgery. There, the ways of civilization prevailed and the meals in this hospital were found to contain as much DDT as those in the most populous city. For their brief stay in civilization, the Eskimos were rewarded with a taint of poison."

I have to say that this will probably become a side research topic for me to look into. I'm curious as to what our current science and technology has to say about the chemicals in our foods. Could this be contributing to the increase in strange nervous system diseases, SIDS, autism? Are we being silently affected by what we eat?

For another great blog post on this, check this one out (not written by me).
Everyday toxins

I am not one to normally react to things like this, but it makes logical sense, really. I have to say, though, that I'm not to thrilled about deciding what to eat for breakfast this morning.

swallowing Silent Spring, part 1

2007-10-15T13:41:00.000-04:00

This week, I am reading Rachel Carson's Silent Spring, a landmark book in the environmentalism movement. I'm approaching halfway, but it is a little difficult to read. It isn't written in terms I can't understand, in fact it is quite clear. But is really shocking to me to read about such horrible things going on in our environmental past.

The book is framed around the use of chemical pesticides, and their devastating effects on humans, plants, livestock, birds, and whole ecosystems. What is most striking to me is the level of carelessness that was (is?) used when these pesticides are used. I know this is from 1962, and a lot (I hope) has changed since then. But I find myself having to take breaks from reading it just to absorb its gravity.

I'm also taken aback by the governmental involvement in the "management" of certain pests or plant species. I thought our government now was making stupid decisions for the environment. I can't imagine being alive when this was written.

For example, in 1959 in Detroit, the US Department of Agriculture somehow decided that there were too many Japanese beetles in the area, and decided to implement a spraying program to get rid of them. At this time, they sprayed 27,000 acres of southeastern Michigan, including suburbs of Detroit. They dusted the air with pellets of aldrin, "one of the most dangerous of all the chlorinated hydrocarbons."

"...the pellets of insecticide fell on beetles and humans alike, showers of 'harmless' poison descending on people supping or going to work and on children out form school for the lunch hour. Housewives swept the granules from porches and sidewalks... the little white pellets of aldrin, no bigger than a pin head were lodged by the millions... when the snow and rain came, every puddle became a possible death potion" pg. 87

The pubic in this case, were advised that the actions were completely harmless. After dead birds and squirrels started showing up in people's yards, after cats and dogs were poisoned, after people began to have strange respiratory illnesses, the government still maintained that it was all harmless.

"Despite the insistence of the City-County Health Commissioner that the birds must have been killed by 'some other kind of spraying' and that the outbreak of throat and chest irritations that followed the exposure to aldrin must have been due to 'something else,' the local Health Department received a constant stream of complaints." pg. 89

What this makes me think of quite crisply is the local spraying to eliminate West Nile Virus. This is touted as being completely harmless to humans, pets, wildlife, but I wonder if we will find out that we, too, have been mislead about the safety of those operations.

I'm going to leave on that thought, and focus on a different bit of homework for the moment, then come back to silent spring after I feel a little less... nauseous.

One blue bead for man, an entire strand for everything else

2007-10-15T12:37:00.000-04:00

“Time is like a handful of sand- the tighter you grasp it, the faster it runs through your fingers”

There are some times when looking at a list of words or dates just won't make information stick. I have been finding that this is true of the geologic time scale. For those unfamiliar with what that is, it's basically a historical calendar of what's happened in the last 600 million years. Paleontologists have broken up this vast amount of time into "Eras" and "Periods" of various significance, marked by distinct changes in life on earth. For example, the Jurassic era was between 144 and 213 million years ago and included the rise of the dinosaurs. There is a whole list of them. They also have confusing and long names, like Permian, Ordovician, Oligocene, Carboniferous, Cambrian... etc.

For my earth science exam this Friday, I have to know the geologic time scale, so that when my teacher asks, 50 million years ago, what period was it, I have to know that it was during the Cenozoic era and the Tertiary period. So, in the face of a daunting amount of information, dates and names, I decided to go tactile/visual. I made a necklace with a series of beads which represent the different eras and epochs.

I can't claim that I came up with this idea, only that I actually put it together. A friend in my community ecology class inspired me by telling me about her friend who had done it to learn them.

In the picture, everything on the bottom fork of the 'v' are the geologic period. The bright blue bead represents the last 2 million years, the Quartenary period. I had each bead equal 10 million years exept fot hat one. But if you look at the blue bead compared to the rest of our geologic history, you can see that we've barely been on the planet at all.

After the Quartenary is the Tertiary (brown), Cretaceous (light green), Jurassic (dark green), Triassic (light blue), Permian (bright orange), Carboniferous (shiny black - like carbon.), Devonian (gold), Silurian (silver), Ordovician (pink) and Cambrian (blue). Each boundary is marked by a silver bead to divide them, and each has the appropriate number of beads in it to show how long each period was. I.e. the Carboniferous period has 9 beads to represent 90 million years.

If you look at the other part of the 'v' in the necklace, you'll notice there aren't any silver dividing beads. That's because this is a section of what happened within the Cenozoic only (so it's like zooming in on the first two colors of the other side). The epochs within the Cenozoic are represented by beads that are 1 million year each, except, again, for the Holocene, which represents only 100,000 years. Within the Cenozoic were the Holocene (purple) Pleistocene (blue), Pliocene (green), Miocene (tan), Oligocene (clear), Eocene (brown), Paleocene (pale yellow).

I plan to wear this necklace all week, and practice memorizing the different eras, and counting how long each of them were. I hope that this will help solidify the information in my head better than just staring at a chart.

Map project - Miller Place NY

2007-10-09T11:27:00.000-04:00

In Foundations class on Friday, my assignment was to make a map of a place that is special to me, that resonates with who I am and gives me definition. I chose to do the beach at Miller Place where my mom lives as the focus of my map.

I took pebbles from the beach there and glued them to the bottom where the waves were coming in, and got quite creative with the map. When I get a moment, I'll edit the entry to show you a picture of how it came out.

In class, we got to see everyone else's maps, too. I noticed a lot of common themes in the maps, especially that most of them contained a body of water somewhere in the map. I wonder if that's a subconscious connection for most people to serenity and peace... An interesting commonality, none the less. I enjoyed doing this project, too, because I got to think of all of the senses when describing my place.

I think I took a different road than most people on this project by picking a place that has been special to me recently instead of when I was a child. I remember my childhood with absolute fondness, but I had a hard time picking out a single spot to do a map of for this assignment. So, instead I chose a place where I now feel peaceful, serene and in touch with nature, a beach house at my mom's place in Miller Place, NY on Long Island. I chose this place because it has an element of mystery, peace, religion, secrecy and nature all intertwined in it. There are secret lives of animals that I never see roaming around at night, each day the ocean offers up different treasures from below to look at, touch or keep. I made my map tactile, too, so that I could remember and associate the smooth rocks with the place.

What I learned while doing this project for myself was that a lot of the things that I cherished finding along the beach were actually not natural objects. Beach glass, for example, is smooth, polished bits of broken glass that have been shaped by the waves and rocks. But beach glass starts off as an old beer bottle, a window, a dish... all trash that has somehow made it into the ocean. And by the quantity of beach glass that I've found over the years, I can only imagine that there must be a near constant source of glass into the ocean somewhere. I occasional find worn bricks, porcelain, tile all which are beautiful in their own right, but are actually pollution... it made me reflect on the idea that I had always associated these things with being natural and a part of the beach.

children in trees

2007-10-08T22:09:00.001-04:00

I've been reading a book called "Last Child in the Woods" which is about a lot of things I've believed for a while about how I'd like to raise my hypothetical, future children. (I have to qualify that lest some of my readers think that there is any possibility of children in my near future... which there is not)

I really encourage all parents (and future, hypothetical parents, too) read this book. There's a link to it on the right hand side of my page. It isn't about hippies telling people how to live or how to raise their children without using toilet paper (thankyouverymuch Sheryl Crow) but it's a practical look at how children are being raised today - in less and less contact with the natural world, and the consequences to children in their adulthood.

If you're an adult now, think about your childhood. When you were young did you play in the woods, or up the street from where you live? Were you allowed to explore, build forts, bring home animals, use your imagination? Was there a place outside somewhere that you knew better than the back of your hand? Do you remember the seasons, or playing outside in the winter, summer, fall, and the special things that went with those times? I do.

You don't have to be rich either, to experience a rich childhood outdoors. Most people found places near them, and playing outside is free most of the time. I played in my backyard, up the street, behind people's houses. The picture above is of me climbing one of the maple trees in my front yard. When they could, my parents took me to the beach on Long Island, and we had picnics at Green Lakes, a small lake a few towns over.

Every season we did something different outside - collected leaves, carved pumpkins, played with "helicopters" (maple tree seed pods), made boats for the backyard when it flooded in the spring, dug in the dirt, read in the hammock suspended in the backyard tree, planted things, collected shells, painted rocks with water so they looked just as pretty as on the beach... I could write a whole book on the things that we did for free as a kid outside.

Now, think of the typical eight year old that you know now. Maybe its your own child, who makes a bee-line right from the bus after school to instant message their friends on the computer, or perhaps they walk through the door already texting someone on their cell phone. Their head down, looking at something small and blinking, they miss everything going by, they miss the rainbow in the sky and the bird sitting in the trees. Take them outside, and they're bored. Children today are punished by loss of TV time. Children of the past were punished by being kept indoors while all their friends played outside.

What I love about this book is that it isn't an apocalyptic story about how all of our future generation will end up as zombies or hyper neurotic adults. It is a simple discussion, reflection and instruction on how to get kids into nature, and how to make sure that nature experiences are a part of every child's formative years - by allowing for unstructured play, involving children in outdoor activities beyond just a plain sports field, and many other subtle things that are often missed these days. I think this is more important than our society realizes...

talking about the weather

2007-10-06T19:40:00.001-04:00

On Friday in Earth Systems science, we talked a lot about weather processes. I learned a little bit about this in 9th grade Earth Science, but I don't think I fully understood it at the time. (I remember being very confused). This time around, however, I really understand what my teacher is talking about. I followed what he was saying about what causes and affects the currents, air masses, fronts and even the jet stream, and why certain storms go in certain directions. I'm glad I'm learning this, because if I'm going to be outside as part of my career, it pays to know what's going on with the weather at all times.

Speaking of weather, I would like to point out something. Today is October 6th. Today, I woke up and went to do Tai Chi for an hour with the archery people at UNH. When I got out of Tai Chi at around noon, I walked out to my car. Being the environmentalist that I am, I decided to walk to the coffee shop in town instead of drive. So I threw my laptop bag over my shoulder and started walking. The sun was warming and very bright - I picked up a few fall leaves on the way and then sat outside while I drank my chai. When I walked back to my car, I was downright warm - the sun was in full force and I believe it was in the mid eighties for temperature. So, I did what any responsible grad student would do. I decided to abandon my to-do list for the day, changed into my bathing suit and shorts, and went directly to the beach.

The beach was beautiful, and the water was incredibly clear and warm. I repeat, warm. I went swimming in it for over an hour, then laid on the beach and read a book for another half hour in the sun. It was fantastic. At the same time a harvest/fall fest was going on in Dover, here I was on the beach listening to the waves crash. That is one fantastic October day!

There is nothing I would rather wake up and see

2007-10-05T12:27:00.000-04:00

Last night, I stayed over at Glikin & Caroline's place on Spofford Lake and I have to say, the morning view there just floored me. I woke up at 7:02am as the sun rose over the ridge of hills, bounced off the lake, and allowed my eyelids to flutter open. I was sleeping in an open room that has windows lining the entire side and front of it. The cabin faces east, so the sun was the first thing I saw this morning when I woke up.

I went outside, did some tai chi and took some pictures. It was absolutely beautiful there, and I am so lucky they are letting me stay there on Thursday nights from now on. I can't wait to explore the area more, but for now, it has been a wonderful experience.

I'm going to add a link to an album of Spofford Lake that I'll be adding to because I have so many gorgeous pictures of the area already to show.

Freewrite - Cricket symphonies

2007-10-04T16:22:00.000-04:00

I hear you, but cannot find you. Your pleasant pitch almost blends with the squeak of machinery behind me, but your tone is crisper, clearer and certainly more pleasant. You stop periodically as if to catch you breath, though I know you're not whistling, but rather rubbing legs or wings together. How steady, calm, and harmonious you sound - so sure and unfaltering. A cousin joins from a neighboring shrub, a slightly different voice and pitch. Softly, you rise into a glowing chord, joined by the tinny vibrato of the katydid. Another player adds short chirps that seem to click with joy. Like pit musicians tuning their strings, your chorus rises, the symphony as a whole instead of your solitary self.

I can hear you all simultaneously and yet also apart. I can hear you overpower and drown the machines with your bright songs. Long, peaceful notes punctuated by pleasant, short memories, underscored by a deep rhythm. The rustling leaves add a tad of percussion to the mix as I enjoy this ' found orchestra' while sitting in an amphitheater built for one. I wonder if I've interrupted a session by listening in .

The tune carries on in perpetual practice or perhaps performance. This is your occupation, the songs that carry on the wind. Ever practicing, ever perfecting the movements and codas, the timing and pauses until you've made an exquisite symphony for me, for no one, for everyone.

Without you, the song could not be as whole.

Big trees!

2007-10-03T17:48:00.001-04:00

Today I went walking through College Woods in Durham (part of the UNH Campus) to do my first solo observation paper.

When I walked into College woods, I noticed a few things. First, there were stumps on the ground. They were highly rotted, but there just the same. Perhaps logging had been going on? I then looked at the rest of the tree canopy - lots of very old trees. I read online that all of College Woods was cut at least once. They used to use the wood to make the buildings on campus. Morrill Hall still has some of the wood - and that was put up in 1903.

I then came across one birch that is just an un-naturally large size! It was bigger than most of the huge white pines I've seen, and very tall AND wide. I don't think I've ever seen a softwood that big in my entire life. It made an impression on me. I took a photo with my hand in it so you could get the scale of how massive the trunk was.

The pine trees, for the most part, seemed older, too. They were fatter and taller than ones I'd previously encountered. There were some with huge basal scars and I first thought of fire. But then I remembered the logging stumps and thought it could be from some of the logging activity that had gone on. There were also stone walls crisscrossing the path that I was on, so it is also possible that there was pasture activity at some point as well. What a complicated site!

The second site I chose was an obvious one, a blow down site (where trees have been knocked over by wind). Several huge white pines had fallen in the same direction, and pulled up the dirt with their roots. That tells me that they fell while still alive and it had to have been quite a wind.

I did more research on properties that UNH owns, and I now have a lot of ideas about doing my next observation paper.... I didn't know there was so much preserved forest land out here!

through the lenses

2007-09-27T22:39:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, I called up my mom to chat about an upcoming visit this weekend, and she told me about her evening. She left work an hour early, prompted by the summer-like heat wave, and decided that she wanted to enjoy the last throes of summer while she still could. She came home and walked down to the beach near her house, walked along the beach and swam about a mile down the beach with the current helping her along. She drifted, floated and watched the sun setting. As she turned and swam back in the opposite direction, she watched a big, fat, orange harvest moon swell over the water and rise high into the sky as she swam back. The colors, and the beauty of watching both the sun set and moon rise was an absolutely spiritual experience for her, and she yearned for her camera at the time so she could have showed me how beautiful it was.

Interestingly enough, the idea of trying to capture nature or a scene - but never being able to truly do so - was the topic of my Language of Nature discussions today. The Picturesque movement that I talked about before was simply that artists tried to "frame" nature within their canvas. They tried to capture (or sometimes create) the quintessential representation of the landscape, while not truly reflecting it in its entirety. The picture to the right is from a park on the seacoast... it is a metal sculpture of a painter with a frame with an empty middle, and standing in the right place, you can get the 'picture' of the landscape without fully absorbing it.

Every morning that I drive into Keene and every afternoon that I drive home I am struck with the same situation that my mom described. I have a camera, but despite the pictures I take, I can't really describe the whole picture, the whole beauty of my drive in a frame of sorts. It took me a few weeks, but I've stopped trying to capture the drive's beauty.

The chorus to John Mayer's song "3x5" says this well:

didn't have a camera by my side this time
hoping I would see the world from both my eyes
maybe I will tell you all about it
when I'm in the mood
to loose my way with words
but let me say
you should have seen that sunrise
with your own eyes
it brought me back to life...

To experience it, you'll just have to take the same route early in the morning sometime to feel it. Nature to me is not only for your eyes or for your camera to capture. Its about rolling my windows down while driving and smelling the pine trees, swamps, flowers and fallen leaves - its hearing the birds, locusts and rustling of trees in the wind... It is an experience that can never be captured in a picture alone - so I've given up trying, and have resolved to spend more time enjoying the journey instead of trying to photographically represent it.

From canvas to National Park

2007-09-23T11:45:00.000-04:00

This morning, I decided to begin some of my homework in a relaxed way, and cross off what I could before getting into the intense and thick readings, or the papers that I will have to write. One of my pieces of homework from the Language of Nature was simply a link to a presentation about nature's relationship to art and God through history.

The first juxtaposition that I found interesting was that the woods were often portrayed in paintings as dark, scary, and unknown. God was not found in nature and to revere nature as beautiful was a competition to spirituality. Eventually, things changed and light began to represent God's presence in paintings. Forests eventually lightened their understories and shafts of light may illuminate something in particular, reminding you that God is present in that natural setting, and revering God's natural beauty that was created by him was acceptable and desirable.

I learned some fascinating things from the presentation about how art reflected the attitudes and ideas that man had about God and nature and changed with those shifting ideas. I was surprised to learn that the painters who painted real places were very much responsible for their eventual preservation.

Places like Yellowstone, Yosemite and Niagara Falls were not places that people were able to visit directly, but by painters highlighting their awe-inspiring beauty, people felt compelled to make sure that those landscapes were not ruined. The same was true for several animals, and the point was made that the turkey was almost made the United State's official bird - which would have certainly lead to the extinction of the eagle.

I have to say that I really want to visit some of the National Parks out west even more now...

Metamorphic meanderings...

2007-09-21T22:18:00.000-04:00

Turned in my first observation paper today, and I felt pretty good about it. I am still struggling a bit with the tree and non-woody plant identification, though I expected that since I haven't had much practice. I am anxious to see what my Community Ecology teacher has to say about the paper. We had a lecture today on niches and factors in competition. It was hard for me to focus on and take notes because I feel like I already know what he's talking about from Ecology at UNH or just from being a real bio geek. You can't talk about anything going on at the shoreline without understanding competition, predation, coevolution, etc. I did learn that some plants have nasty chemicals in their leaves which, when they fall, inhibit the germination of other seeds anywhere near the base of the plant. Sneaky way to make sure that you are the only tree around...

This afternoon, though, in Earth Systems Science, we took a field trip to visit various road outcrops and actually an abandoned old pigmatite mine. Most of what we saw were metamorphic rocks, bent, melted, twisted and recrystallized into other rocks. As we learned more about what processes caused those types of formations, I realized that, collecting "rocks" as a kid, I never really connected fully with the overall processes like igneous intrusions, metamorphic rocks, etc, because the rocks I had were on such a small scale. It was great to have some familiarity with them (and the three different types of rocks in general) so that I could try to grasp the bigger picture things that were going on.

I got to see contact zones and intrusions and varying crystal structures based on the rate of cooling, erosional factors... throwing me back into the world of rocks. It was a great outing because we got to visit several different sites, and the pigmatite mines were VERY cool. There they have a specific kind of granite that is rare, and also contains huge pieces of mica (and even a little garnet).

The second site we went to was awesome, too, because there was a huge stone bridge built over a stream, and the builders left a huge jut of rock and used it as part of the bridge. It was beautiful to see the natural and the man-shaped structures side by side (all of the rocks used in the bridge were obviously local stones of the same types.

On the way home, in traffic, I caught myself observing the road cuts and looking at the different types of rocks there. I love my life!

Foundations of EE - freewrite, outside

2007-09-20T20:54:00.000-04:00

(For this assignment, we walked outside and were asked to journal about a specific place we found on the grounds, it was essentially an outdoor free-write.)

Behind me, the hum of power and sweat of asphalt, the griding noise of stones crushed underfoot and a car passing by. As I let my eyes unfocus and let me ears adjust I hear more - I hear crickets, the click of a dog's fingernails on stone, the brief rustle of leaves or snap of a dry twig. As I lift my notebook to write, a small cricket leaps off the page that he temporarily inhabited. When my eyes adjust to the symphony of green, it allows me to see yet more colors. A yellow goldenrod flower, a flash of red on a berry. An orange leaf, turning a little before its brothers. A deep red from the sumac, and a pale yellow leaves of a hop hornbeam.

I catch myself defining, categorizing, so I stop to breathe.

I adjust to the stillness, and I can see the motion. Leaves shivering gently in a breeze I am barely aware of. Grass springing back up where I once laid my hand. Bugs foraging climbing jungles of grass and mountains of stone. Doves fly overhead casually, as if nothing is new to them. Unseen, worms move earth and trees grow and bend. Leaves open, leaves color, leaves fall; constantly renewing. A leaf sinks to the ground and allows me to see all the others above. Silhouettes of tree branches frame my words on a page. More not seeing allows me to see tiny pale yellow flowers, and the perfections of a curled leaf.

I see death which allows me to observe life. An insect buzzes with the same indifference to my presence as the dove, and visits each yellow flower, repeating the same functions at each. A chipmunk reveals himself and hesitantly beings a a journey divided into three foot bursts. A dragonfly circles swiftly with intent but his purpose is not something I can know...

Beautiful morning... pumpkin chai

2007-09-20T20:42:00.000-04:00

There are some mornings that fill me with a sense of wonder. Some mornings are just perfect like that. Today, for the first time, I physically noticed that the seasons had changed a bit since last week. I left my apartment this morning and it was darker, and the sun peeked out at a different milestone in the trip. Days are getting shorter, shadows longer. It was foggy on the way up this morning, but it is always sunny when I get to Keene. The air was cool and I could see evidence of dew and perhaps frost from the night before.

Arriving at Keene early (as always) I decided to stop in for a chai. I got the strange urge for pumpkin - and I asked him to put a shot of the pumpkin flavor in my chai. It was marvelous and was autumn in a coffee cup.

The sun's rays were still low when I went in there this morning, and I took this picture of the front door, which faces the rising sun. What a beautiful way to start a day.

What I learned today...

2007-09-17T00:33:00.000-04:00

When a mountain is composed of materials that don't easily erode, and it is in a range with mountains that do erode easily, the mountain will be taller than all the others around it. That type of mountain is called a monadnock. Mount Monadnock in Keene shares its name because it is such a mountain.

I learned that there are a lot of fossil hot spots in New England, and I kind of want to visit them now! I also learned that dinosaur footprints are far more common fossils than their bones.

I learned you don't have to go far from home to find interesting wildlife and places to wander - and on the flip side that if the place is accesible, then there's a darn good chance that other humans have been there first, and they've usually left evidence behind, like a mattress bridge or a fort too big for any child to be playing in...

recycled reflections?

2007-09-17T00:22:00.000-04:00

As I have been going up to Antioch, I can't help but feel that the environmentalist spirit has entered my heart again. I was very, very cynical (and still remain partially so) after George Bush was elected again in 2004, and I kind of turned away from being on top of the Environmental News because I found it to be too depressing, too overwhelming to attack, and definitely too big for me to make a difference in. But my attitudes are shifting a little bit, because I'm surrounded by people who do believe we can make a difference. Since I've started attending Antioch, I've made a few changes in my life that I wonder about.

I picked up some of those canvas bags and I've been bringing them with me to the convenience stores and grocery stores instead of letting them give me plastic bags. It feels good, and it creates less trash for me.
I've been recycling more attentively. When I have a glass bottle of tea, I find somewhere to recycle it instead of trashing it in a dumpster.
I've been trying to eat "local" produce and food, but that is really hard being that there is hardly any labeling on the food I buy to this respect. Hannaford is great for that, but they're more expensive of course.
I've been buying packages of things that have less waste in them.
I've been recycling in my apartment *despite* there being no program to do so. (I'm brining my recycling to the UNH campus to add to theirs... sneaky, I know, but how else should I do it?)

What I'm specifically wondering - though maybe it doesn't matter - is whether I'm doing that because I think I should or it is right to, or because I want to look as if I am doing the right thing to my fellow Antiochians. Now, to my favor, most of what I do at home is not seen by them, so in that respect I am probably safe. But I think about it just the same.

observations in a little patch of Dover forest...

2007-09-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Kellee and I decided that, since we live in Dover, that it would be more convenient to find a place to do our observations close to home. We ended up going into the woods behind our apartment complexes. Despite initial discouragement because there were lots of signs of man's presence there, we eventually found a spot that was perfect.

The goal was to find a place where there are two portions of forest that are next to each other that are very different, and to try and determine the reason. The first part of the forest was dominated by very large and old White Pines, if I had to guess I would say 50-80 years old each. The understory and forest floor was littered with pine needles, and there was very little light, and not much light came through. The only other types of trees growing were very tiny beech and red oak trees, and a few wildflowers. (see picture to the left). There were also a curious amount of downed paper birch trees, all of which seemed to have been felled at the same time, which we did not have an immediate understanding of the reason for it.

In stark contrast to this was the site down a slight slope to this patch. There, ferns dominated the under story, the soil was wetter underfoot, and there were no conifers to be found- only tall silver maples, red oaks filled the canopy. This area of the woods was also lighter, and there was even grass growing. It was apparent that the area was likely often saturated with water - the grasses were recently all bent in one direction, and there was debris clinging to tree stumps, which makes me think that there was definitely flowing water ate one point. We found a frog, too, which also was a strong indication that there was water nearby.

I haven't been able to write up the observation paper quite yet as I ran out of time today, but I am confident that it was a good site to choose just based on the contrast we saw.

Putney field trip

2007-09-16T23:37:00.000-04:00

Friday I stayed over at Antioch because of a morning field trip excursion to Putney Vermont. Admittedly, despite being woken up by a cat louder than a rooster, I got more sleep than I had any previous thursday night. I woke up and drove to Putney, with kind of sketchy directions given to me last night after having a few beers. So I got to the town just fine, but I didn't know where I had to go.

A few windy roads later, I didn't care that I was lost, because I saw some *beautiful* spiderwebs hanging out in fields from the morning dew and fog. So beautiful, I can't even describe. But I couldn't stop to photograph them, I had to go to the site. Later I passed schist (see picture) with oxidized iron ore in it, gleaming brilliantly in the morning sun.

Our class walked around forests and glacial delta deposits, digging up dirt and feeling it, tromping around in forests and looking at dominant species. One of the most memorable moments was coming to clay deposits - which had rivers of pure clay - exactly what you would use to "throw" a pot. I played with this in my hand for several minutes, forming a ball, and wondering about the awesome power of glacial waters and deltas that allowed the sediment to sort so perfectly.

The picture to the right is of a glacial runoff stream - the sediments there were dropped by melting glaciers and the stream was carved out by water melting in rushing rapids - slowed, of course, today, but it is still obvious that there is glacial history.

I didn't want to leave this powerful place - but I had to return to Keene for my later classes. I think I may return to Putney with my camera on another morning - it was so beautiful I cannot accurately describe it.

I took a few pictures on the field trip - of a few trees I'd never seen. I saw both an adult, natural sycamore tree, and an American Elm. The Elm is almost non-existant in New England because of Dutch Elm disease, so it was awesome to see one. My picture of the Elm wasn't fantastic, but the one on the left here is the Sycamore - it looks totally "wrong" in the forest it was in - a big, smooth white trunk and a height that dwarfed everything else in the canopy. Very cool.

Language of Nature - freewrite, first day of class

2007-09-04T11:05:00.000-04:00

I am thinking of Karme Choling, such a strange and spiritual place, the first night I felt a little lost. Why go to bed in a place so wondrous with natural starlight and beauty - a tingly feeling of being alive? So I laid in my bed for about five minutes before becoming completely restless. I got up, took my camera and stepped outside.

Lighting flashed silently from afar, the only light to temporarily illuminate the grounds, highlighting the fields and mountains surrounding it. I walked around and watched the storm, still silent form its distance. I came to a field of wildflowers and let my eyes adjust.

What greeted me was an uncountable number of lightning bugs both in the air and on the plants, going about the business of advertising and attracting a mate. Part billboard, part telegraph their simple actions always made me smile as a child, but the synchronizations of the masses of them was something I could barely comprehend, like the stars.

Who am I?

2007-09-01T18:03:00.000-04:00

A little introduction as to who I am and what I'm doing writing this. I was recently accepted to Antioch University of New England in Keene, NH to pursue a master's degree in Environmental Education. At our orientation, one speaker caught my attention when he said that our time here would be so short that we should do everything we can to savor it - and not let the experience of being here and learning slip through our fingers.

I plan to use this forum to post a journal of my experiences at Antioch, to post questions and thoughts and assignments so that I can really cherish and savor the time that I have at Antioch, and so I can get a true sense of what I've experienced and learned.

I chose environmental education because I've always been curious about nature and the world around me, from when I was at the seashore bringing my parents whatever cool organism I had uncovered in the sand, to more recently when I corrected and educated my coworkers about environmental news topics like e. coli contamination and the Avian Bird Flu. I wanted a formal way of sharing this knowledge with others - in my interview I spoke about that moment when a light bulb lights up in a child or adult's eyes when they finally understand - that is what I am out to do. I love to break down complicated topics into parcels that can be understood by anyone, and it has been my passion to educate others through writing or through telling them about it.

I invite you to check in here every once and a while as I put my experiences out there - and thank you for stopping by.